From Ranger to Leather Neck

As Memorial Day Approaches...

2010-05-18T07:18:00.000-07:00

I have never watched the TV cartoon series, "Family Guy." Too old, I guess, to get all the hip humor.

Today, however, while reading the Hot Air blog, I ran across this:

"It’s not a secret that Family Guy is famous for its offensiveness and tendency to cross the politically correct line. That said, I suspect they may be called upon to issue some sort of apology after tonight’s episode (not that they will, but I don’t think this will go unnoticed…by a longshot).

Here’s what happens: On a search to find the source of all dirty jokes (which eventually leads them to Virginia) Peter, Quagmire, and Joe pass through Washington, DC where they see the Washington Monument, the Obama Monument (it’s black) and the Vietnam Veterans Memorial. This is the part that is going to ruffle some feathers. Standing in front of the Memorial are two Vietnam Vets and a Vietnamese man who calls the Memorial a “scoreboard” and says “aw, what happened to your friends? Hey I know that guy, I killed him, he cried like a bitch. Vietnam! Undefeated!”

Um. I’m sort of at a loss on how to follow that exchange except to say the funny is lost on me. I suspect it’s going to be lost on a whole lot of people (though, I guess you never know)"

And, this on the same day that the Attorney General of Connecticut, Richard Blumenthal (currently a Democratic candidate to replace the retiring Senator Chris Dodd) was exposed by the New York Times as having repeatedly lied about his service as a Marine in Vietnam and his alleged maltreatment as a returning veteran.

Blumenthal was a Marine, but never set foot in Vietnam. Just another one of the four out of five men who responded to the 2000 Census long form, saying that they served in Vietnam when, in fact, they had never been in Vietnam or had never served in the military at all. Must be tough to be asked by your grandchildren, "What did you do in the war, Grandpa?" Particularly if you were in Sweden or Canada, or were just too stoned to realize that burning your draft card might cause problems later.

My 30+ West Point Classmates who died in Vietnam, all of my Class who served our country in combat, and the large number of us who were wounded and/or permanently disabled are not amused by either Family Guy or Mr. Blumenthal.

Freedom is not free.

The Sunset of Liberty? I think not...

2010-03-23T17:45:00.000-07:00

Hi guys!

Things have been pretty depressing here at the palace since some of our freedom was taken away on Sunday. In the ticker-tape parade held today, our Vice President, on open mike, uttered the favorite expletive among this White House mob. Enough to make you want to cry.

But, no. We don't need anger management, as one of my West Point classmates suggested. We need anger leadership.

In that regard, I have a new book in the final stages of publication which includes the following introduction and poem that I thought would be timely to share with you:

In 1992, after retiring from the Army, I went to work on Wall Street in New York City. I lived in a rented apartment in Battery Park City and walked to work at Bankers Trust Company each day. My office was on the 54th floor, directly across Liberty Street from the South World Trade Center. Of course, I didn’’t realize that nine years later, the entire area would be ““Ground Zero,”” the site of the beginning of America’’s next war. But the place felt special to me, nonetheless. In the evenings, I often spent time walking through Battery Park, around Castle Garden, or sitting on one of the benches on the Esplanade overlooking New York Harbor. It was a beautiful setting.

One night, long before I had done any serious research on my family history, I sat on a bench in Castle Garden and watched the sunset over the Harbor, Ellis Island and the Statue of Liberty. Thoughts of how my family came through these places, en route from Sweden, filled my mind. I took out a pen and wrote the following poem in the margins of The Wall Street Journal I was carrying:

The golden ball again is gone,

The harbor’’s growing still;

Yet heat and dampness linger on,

Awaiting evening’’s chill.

Across the water, in the mist,

The proud, crowned Lady stands;

Her lamp, raised high in righteous fist,

Now glows with golden bands.

That wondrous light on darkening sky

Reminds of who we are;

For what we stand, and when and why

And how we’’ve come so far.

To ““teeming masses”” she once spoke,

““Come breathe of Freedom’’s air.””

And so they came, both rich and broke,

Her lamp would guide them there.

The island next to hers, nearby

Is where my Grandma stood,

And looked across with tearful eye

At what she hoped was good.

And where I sit, my Grandpa sat,

A young boy at the time,

And waited while his mother moved

Her family in the line.

For they had sacrificed it all

To join Miss Liberty.

Her promise great, their prospects small ––

But now with dignity.

Those teeming masses became one

While generations passed,

And father died as well as son

To make our freedom last

We owe so much to those now gone,

How can we ever pay?

Will we insure that each new dawn

Brings Freedom’’s brightest day?

For inspiration, try this start

At sunset, come downtown

Across the water, look with heart

Behold her lamp and crown.

As darkness falls, her torch burns bright

Recalling all who came;

Your soul will fill with Freedom’’s light

And life won’’t be the same.

So, dear friends, ask yourselves "How can we ever pay?" I sugggest that we stop being Americans with short attention spans. That we remember "all we owe to those now gone." That we recognize that our liberty is being taken away and that our children and grandchildren will pay for this thievery, when we too are gone.

Remember March 21, 2010, another day which will live in infamy. Don't lose your temper —but remember why you are angry and help others to remember as well. Anger leadership.

We'll celebrate on the high ground!

Life? Art?

2010-02-26T16:18:00.001-08:00

Hi, guys! Sad news today.

I believe it was Oscar Wilde who said "Life imitates art far more than art imitates life."

The last two days have been yet another example of the truth of Wilde's observation.

Yesterday morning, at Sea World Orlando, the killer whale, Tilikum, dragged veteran trainer Dawn Brancheau to her death by playfully biting and drowning her while a horrified crowd watched, both from poolside and from the underwater observation windows.

You all know that I playfully argue that "whales are not our friends," yet here is evidence that
huge mammals, even well-trained ones, are animals first and performers second.

Today, the Sea World CEO, Jim Atchison, announced that the show must go on, and Tilikum would remain part of the cast. Sea World will open again for whale shows tomorrow.

Ms. Brancheau's funeral is scheduled for Sunday and Monday in her hometown of Chicago with a memorial service to be conducted at Sea World in the future... Yet Sea World will open again for business tomorrow.

Mr. Atchison's press conference was difficult to watch, because all of it seemed to be a huge Sea World advertisement— a celebration of the art of training animals— rather than a period of reflective mourning for the loss of Ms. Brancheau.

At the same time yesterday, several hundred miles north, President Obama hosted a "healthcare summit" at Blair House.

Some forty legislators sat for 7 1/2 hours trading thoughtful and not so thoughtful opinions on the healthcare situation in America, looking at the 2700+ page Senate bill and the eleven page Presidential surprise package released on Monday.

The Dems primary comments centered on "Look how close we are on this. We're arguing about minor details between the 49 yard lines. A minor adjustment or two and we're done!"

The GOP attendees didn't see things that way. They saw the public disapproval, the Tea Parties, the angry townhall meetings and the elections in Virginia, New Jersey and Massachusetts as pretty clear evidence that Americans have been paying attention to this debate and they don't like the idea of turning more of our healthcare system over to the government.

At its conclusion, President Obama made remarks he could have taken directly from Sea World CEO Atchison. The House and Senate must get this done, the 2700+ pages of the script must be used, the public polls be damned, the show must go on. A huge Obamacare commercial for the art of political sausage-making, not a period of reflection on what may be the problem with this plan.

Life imitates art far more than art imitates life. And in both in the case of the Sea World tragedy and the healthcare summit travesty, we are the losers. My condolences to the family of Ms. Brancheau and my condolences to all of you.

Global Warming Retardant

2010-02-10T07:26:00.001-08:00

EPW HEARINGS POSTPONED DUE TO WEATHER

February 9, 2010

Posted Matt Dempsey matt_dempsey@epw.senate.gov

EPW HEARINGS POSTPONED DUE TO WEATHER

UPDATE: The following Senate Committee on Environment and Public Works hearings have been postponed due to inclement weather this week:

- The Senate Committee on Environment and Public Works, Subcommittee on Water and Wildlife, will hold a hearing entitled, "Collaborative Solutions to Wildlife and Habitat Management."

- The Senate Committee on Environment and Public Works will hold a hearing entitled, "Global Warming Impacts, Including Public Health, in the United States."

Once the hearings are rescheduled, information will be posted at www.epw.senate.gov

Hi Guys!

For some unknown reason, Blogger wishes to underline my contribution today. I believe itis due to the fact that the tectonic plate movements beneath Haiti have just been renamed after a previous President by the National Geologic Survey. Henceforth, the Haiti disaster will have been due to "The Bush Fault."

Here in the Nation's Capital, we are once again getting hammered by Global Warming Retardant.

The US Government has been closed for the third day in a row. Has anyone noticed?

I believe it was Mark Twain who once wrote:

"No man's life, liberty or property are safe

while the legislature is in session."

Given the truth of that statement, we here in snowy Virginny, under attack from the second round of Snowpocalypse 2010, stand ready to keep taking the beating if we can keep Pelosi and Reid from the next round of "drunken sailor spending."

By the way, that expression does a disservice to drunken sailors — when they run out of money, they stop spending.

Besides, I have a SNOW QUEEN to keep me warm!

We should be finished digging out by some time close to May Day. Appropriate, huh?

MAY DAY! MAY DAY! S.O.S.!

The Princess Plebe and I

2009-12-05T07:34:00.000-08:00

Hi, guys!

I recently read Gail O'Sullivan Dwyer's book,Tough as Nails, shown above. It is her personal story of being a member of the West Point Class of 1981, the second class at the U.S. Military Academy to have women members.

It is wonderfully written and had me laughing on almost every page. I highly recommend this short paperback to those who wonder how the women who showed up up to become plebes at West Point in 1976 and 1977 ever got through to graduation.

They were clearly pioneers and fit the title of the book perfectly.

However, there is one factual error in the book. The first women to wear the uniform of the United States Corps of Cadets were not in the Class of 1980. I know this to be a fact for I was there when the first women put on the uniform and had their hair cut to the prescribed length—NO LOWER THAN THE BOTTOM OF THE COLLAR.

The first women to wear the cadet uniform were two with reasonably short hair already. They were selected as subjects whose hair would be cut by a beautician from Newburgh, New York in a training session for the barbers at West Point who had little or no experience cutting women's hair.

One of them was named Eleanor Peters, a gorgeous brunette. The other one was the girl I married, a gorgeous blonde. Yep, I married one of the first two women to ever wear the uniform at West Point.

Today, you know her as The Queen Vee. Back in 1976, she was just The Princess Plebe. Despite clear West Point regulations that Cadets may not be married nor have ever been married, she received her Plebe haircut while openly displaying an engagement ring and a wedding band... Plebes are always a work in progress.

Skeptical at all of the above? I have photographic evidence from the days before Photoshop was invented.

Tomorrow, this Princess Plebe and I will have been married for forty years. And Victoria, now The Queen, is still gorgeous. And she tells me that I am still a work in progress...

Happy Anniversary, Miss Dumb Smack!

Two Thanksgiving Letters - 36 years apart...

2009-11-21T11:45:00.000-08:00

Hi, Guys!

In this Thanksgiving week, thought I'd share with you two letters written around Thanksgiving. The first, and its attachment, above, I sent while in command in Vietnam, November 1968. Click on them to enlarge. They were typed on a manual typewriter - yes, they actually existed in those days...

Much to my surprise, I found the file copies of them in the National Archives in 2004 while doing some research on my former unit. Note the small National Archives proofmark in the upper left corner. Hence, the second letter, below, published in November 2004 by the editors of The Pueblo Chieftain in Pueblo, Colorado.

11 November 2004

Letters to the Editor

Soldier Recall Pueblo Brownies Kindness in 1968

Dear Editors:

I am COL (USA Ret) Ken Carlson, writing from Fairfax, VA.

A few days ago, I was doing research on some battles my unit was in during my time in Vietnam, 1968-69.

At the National Archives II in College Park MD, I came across unit records that included the attached letter I wrote to the girls and leaders of Brownie Troop 198, Pueblo, Colorado.

I don't know if that troop still exists. However, if they do, I want the girls, now mothers and perhaps even grandmothers, to remember how much my men appreciated their thoughtfulness.

And also to know that their kindness and patriotism are now officially documented in the Archives of the United States, giving them a lasting place in American history.

This Thanksgiving, we still have soldiers a long way from home and under the stress of mortal combat. I hope that there are other Brownie Troop and similar organizations who have picked up the torch of support that their predecessors in Brownie Troop 198 carried so well.

Sincerely,

Kenneth G. Carlson

COL (USA Ret.)

Fairfax, VA

As you can see, friends, Soldiers never forget those who remember them while they are in harm's way.

The Queen Vee joins me in the hope that you and yours have a joyous Thanksgiving.

November 9th - Twenty Years Ago

2009-11-02T13:09:00.000-08:00

Hi, guys! Next Monday night marks the 20th anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall,

one of the highlights of my life.

You've read the poem I wrote about that wall as a second lieutenant in 1967, the same poem that was read in 1994 as the Berlin Brigade colors were cased by President Clinton and the Brigade deactivated. But where were we on 9 November 1989?

We were in Heidelberg where my assignment was Chief of Doctrine, Concepts and Analysis Division, a cover name for what we really did which was think tank work for the four star, Commander in Chief, US Army Europe (CINCUSAREUR).

In the fall of 1988, the Deputy CINC, Lieutenant General George Stotser, had received a surprise invitation from the Hungarian Army Chief of Staff to attend a meeting of the Warsaw Pact military chiefs to be held in Budapest. This was a big deal at the time - a NATO general asked to sit in on the Warsaw Pact meeting, presumably as a "confidence building measure" between the two opposing sets of forces in Central Europe.

LTG Stotser called for me and a few of my fellow officers to meet with him in order to plan the types of questions he might expect and some of the things we thought he should be looking for in the meeting. Armed with our ideas, he went to Budapest and returned with amazing news!

Seated to the left of the Hungarian general, with the Soviet Chief of Staff on the Hungarian's right, LTG Stotser found himself continually being nudged and whispered to by his host. Speaking near-perfect English, the Hungarian general kept telling General Stotser that they had to get the Soviets out of their country before their economy was completely destroyed by the "stupid Russians."

The fault lines between Warsaw Pact "allies" was big news, both to us and to Washington, where it was quickly reported.

On 2 May 1989, the reform-minded Hungarian Communists began, without notice, to dismantle their portion of the Iron Curtain, the fortified border with Austria. Less than two months later, more than 25,000 East Germans had decided to "vacation" in Hungary and somehow ended up in Austria. The crack in Iron Curtain quickly became a flood. USAREUR was asked by the West German government to assist in the housing and feeding of all the Eastern refugees arriving in Bavaria. The cries for all of the fences and the Berlin Wall to come down became louder.

The Czech government soon followed suit, opening its border with Austria. In the 24 hours prior to the 9 November events in Berlin, more than 20,000 East Germans had escaped across the Czech-Austrian border. On the night of 9 November, huge crowds pressed against all the checkpoints in Berlin after hearing that the East Germans were going to open the border. Confused and without official direction, the East German Border Guards (VOPO's) decided that they couldn't shoot everyone, so they opened the gates and the Wall was no more. The evening sky in Heidelberg and throughout West Germany was ablaze with fireworks usually saved for New Years Eve.

Several weeks later, the officers of USAREUR Headquarters met for a professional development session at the local Officers Club. After the CINC reviewed what our role had been in the dramatic events of the past year, he asked me to come forward to speak. He had read my poem of 1967 and asked that I read it. Following that, he asked for my poetic thoughts as to what had transpired in just the last few weeks.

Here is what I read:

A Soldier Remembers

by COL Ken Carlson

On Friedrichstrasse in '61

I watched that awful sight.

I overlooked my tank main gun

Throughout that dreadful night.

I watched them string the strands of wire;

I saw the shattered dreams.

They forced me to withhold my fire;

I still recall the screams.

I watched the Wall be built by blocks;

I watched the families part.

I saw the tears, I felt the shocks,

It simply broke my heart.

Patrolled the Wall with JFK

I was there in '63.

A Berliner he became that day

And joined the likes of me.

For I was there both day and night

No hours of nine to five;

I beamed the Wall with Freedom's Light

To keep their hopes alive.

Along the border, miles away,

My buddies did the same.

They kept their posts, through "come what may,"

While blessing Freedom's name.

The politicians came and went

As did the network news;

But cookies that my Mom had sent

Would help us cure the blues.

My friends and I have kept the trust

For twenty eight long years.

Through cold and rain, we knew we must -

For we still saw the tears.

And so today, with Wall now split

And barriers torn wide,

Forgive us if we smile a bit

And show our soldier's pride.

For we've been here at your request

Each Fred and Sue and Bob.

You sent your Army, sent your best -

We're proud we did the job.

Not a dry eye in the house, for all in the audience had lived through much of what was expressed in the poem. And all knew - Freedom isn't free.

Moline's Second Military Wedding

2009-10-15T16:27:00.000-07:00

Hi, Guys! On this night, 77 years ago, my parents were married in the First Lutheran Church in Moline, Illinois. My Mom would later claim that this was Moline's second military wedding, an unlikely event since Moline was home to the 57th Illinois Volunteer Infantry during and after the Civil War. But May's wedding WAS a big deal.

The daughter of a prominent factory owner and president, she married a dashing young second lieutenant of Infantry, a West Point graduate from the Class of 1931.

Both had graduated from Moline High School, with Mabel Johnson one year ahead of Gunnar Carlson. Although both were standout athletes, they did not date while high school students.

Their first date was at the Shorthills Country Club in the summer of 1932, where May was impressed that Gunnar was such a gentleman that he carried a handkerchief to place between their hands while dancing, and Gunnar was impressed that May let him kiss her on the first date. From that day forward, neither ever dated anyone else.

The wedding was among the largest held in Moline until that time, partly because it was advertised in the Saturday morning paper as, "one of the most colorful weddings to be seen in Moline for some time" and "a military presence will be offered by seven fellow Army officers... with crossed sabers both in the center aisle and outside the Church." Another reason was that the paper also announced that the public would be allowed to be seated in the balcony.

The crowd quickly filled the Church, causing May's father to begin placing chairs in the aisle until my Dad warned him that there must be space left for the wedding party to walk up to the altar.

May's Uncle Sam, from Detroit, was seated by the military usher, but on the "groom's side of the aisle." When he came back to the rear to correct that, the Army lieutenant told him, "It doesn't make a bit of difference, Mr. Swanson; we're not going to cheer here tonight anyway."

Apparently there was some cheering however, since the night of October 15th 1932 also marked the opening of the new Rock Island Bridge across the Mississippi River, about a block or two from the Church. After the ribbon cutting, many of the boisterous and somewhat looped crowd (during Prohibition!) wandered over to the Church to see what all the fuss was about.

One of the spectators was a young cub sports reporter from radio station WOC in Davenport, Iowa who had been sent to cover the bridge event. Once the bridge was open, he brought his radio reporting gear to the front of the Church and began reporting on the wedding and the scene you see above. The reporter at the microphone was Ronald Wilson Reagan, later the 40th President of the United States.

50 years later, May and Gunnar celebrated their golden wedding anniversary at a party sponsored by their two sons at the Fort McNair Officers Club here in Washington. In the next room was a wedding reception and Gunnar and May were asked to come over to speak to the new bride and groom.

May and Gunnar are together again tonight in the Mansions of the Lord. I have written this posting to remind them both that we have not forgotten their love for each other and for all of us. Happy 77th Anniversary, Folks!

Six Things I Believe About Healthcare

2009-08-25T17:34:00.000-07:00

Hi, guys! The picture lured you in to this blog post, didn't it? Ha! The real subject is healthcare and some observations of what I believe to be true.

1. Health insurance is misnamed.

Insurance is a policy written by a company which protects you from the aftermath of some accident or natural disaster. It is a bet between you and the insurance company, made possible by actuaries who can predict what the exposure of the insurance company will be to any risk over a large population. You pay premiums based on the amount of risk the insurance company accepts.

In health insurance, it is a certainty that you will visit a doctor. The insurance company thus pays everyone who owns a policy, some more than others.

To be a real insurance policy, the company should have to pay only your catastrophic health care costs if such a catastrophe befalls you. All the normal healthcare expenses should be borne by the individual or by his company should they choose to offer such a benefit. The latter would not be insurance - it would be part of your compensation package.

2. Healthcare in America should not be called a "right."

A "right" is something which everyone has just by being an American (for example, life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness) and the government must protect everything that is a "right." Healthcare, however, is a service, which occasionally protects life, but more often just provides temporary or permanent relief from sickness or injury.

Healthcare for you is similar to automobile maintenance or repair for your car. Some people can afford to have the very best mechanics and concierge service, some choose to spend the minimum on Jiffy Lube - and some do it themselves.

In healthcare, some spend a fortune on executive scans and checkups, see the best doctors, have multiple elective surgeries, use personal trainers in personal gyms, etc. Others may get a yearly physical and visit their doctor only on those occasions when their home remedies don't work. And there is a third group that goes to the emergency room for sniffles and coughs. Yet those who claim healthcare is a "right" would also require that everyone get the top level of healthcare which only the rich presently can afford. The cost would bankrupt the American taxpayer, already on the ropes.

Some might ask, "so would you let people die in the street?" No -- that's what emergency rooms are for and why we spend lots of money on Medicaid for those who cannot (or choose not to) buy any healthcare, relying on the rest of us to pay the bill. Yet somehow, the indigent always seem to find money for booze, smokes and even cellphones - look closely at the photos...

I read the press every day, and never read nor hear of Americans dying in the streets from lack of healthcare. The "dead in the streets" argument is a strawman, set up by liberals to demand that everyone should get equal healthcare treatment, just as they want all Americans to "spread the wealth around."

We conservatives believe in equality of opportunity, not equality of outcomes. Everyone should have access to healthcare, but the type received will vary based on the willingness/ability to pay.

3. There should be no automatic exclusion of "pre-existing conditions," but policy premiums must reflect the risk assumed by the insurance company.

If your house is on fire, no insurance company should be expected to issue a policy amid the flames. If you live near the coast in Florida, your opportunities to buy home policies from a number of competing companies have greatly diminished. If you have had cancer, like me, you must expect that any insurer will either not take you or will charge you a lot more for a policy which includes cancer coverage.

However, a health policy which covers other health catastrophes, such as a heart problem, should be made available to cancer patients. But we must recall that healthcare is a business and healthcare profits help fund innovation and progress. Only if we want health insurance providers to commit corporate suicide should we expect that everyone get equal coverage at the same price.

4. Medicare is not an example of a program of universal healthcare, as some have said.

Those who propose universal healthcare would make it a "right," as described above. Medicare, on the other hand, is a health program for those over 65 that has been developed for that group of seniors based on taxes collected from them during their working years. Unfortunately, like Social Security, it has become a "pay as you go" program, with current taxes paid by younger Americans for current older American recipients healthcare, not by money saved "in a lockbox" from their previous contributions.

We, the American people, allowed our Congress to spend Social Security and Medicare trust funds for other "priorities" rather than invest them for growth and eventual payment. Seeing all that Social Security and Medicare tax money sitting in a trust fund was just too tempting for the Congress not to grab...

5. Universal healthcare under a "single payer system" is a disaster.

I spent more than two years in England and Canada in the mid-1990's. At almost every lunch or dinner with clients and prospects, the subject of the Brit and Canadian healthcare systems was discussed. The Canadians said that one of the reasons 90% of their population lives within 100 miles of the American border is because they turn to American healthcare when their system places them on a months - long waiting list for something as routine as an MRI. My son, Thomas, reports that there are more MRI machines in Cleveland than in all of Canada.

And in England, there is a panel in the National Health Service that calculates the cost/benefit ratio of procedures based on "quality of life years" or "Qualys", as they're called. If the procedure is expensive and the expected benefit will not be used over a significant number of years, then the procedure is disapproved. Keep you alive for another two years? Not cost effective. This is not fantasy - it actually exists!

6. Any healthcare reform that does not address tort reform is pandering to the Trial Lawyers, pure and simple.

I have medical doctor classmates from West Point who report that they pay over $70,000 per year for malpractice insurance, yet they have never been sued. They must practice "defensive medicine," often requiring MRI's and other tests when the results almost never change their original diagnosis. When asked to declare someone disabled for worker's comp purposes, they do so, fearing lawsuits from patients.

They believe that every patient should have legal recourse if actually harmed by a doctor or hospital, but that the current practice is not that. Currently, the medical profession is being held hostage by the legal profession.

Adding millions more indigent patients to the public healthcare rolls will be great for trial lawyers and poor patients who need money from anywhere they can get it. Like the current TV law firm ad says, "We'll deal with the government - you have enough to worry about." It will be a disaster for the healthcare community and will reduce the number of providers.

I would be quite interested to hear your thoughts on or additions to my list of six things I believe about healthcare. With some polishing and/or better thoughts, I intend to send my list to my Congressman and Senators.

The healthcare high ground...

Wonderland

2009-08-03T06:00:00.000-07:00

Hi, guys!

Is it just me, or is the news from the Obama Administrations becoming "curiouser and curiouser" each day?

First, we discovered that the "Cash for Clunkers" program, which was set to start on July 1st, didn't actually begin until July 24th. Something about it took the Department of Transportation longer to organize than either planned or expected.

Then, with ONE BILLION DOLLARS of funding as of July 24th, the program ran out of money six days later. SIX DAYS, ONE BILLION DOLLARS. Something about unexpected levels of demand for this program in which the taxpayers will give you up to $4500 to get rid of the rust bucket in your carport to buy the new car you were planning to buy anyway. UNEXPECTED DEMAND?

Administration answer? Add another TWO BILLION DOLLARS of taxpayer money, stir briskly and season to taste. Then see if you like it -- or if "more unexpected demand" continues...

Next, the Sunday talk shows with SECTREAS Tim Geithner and ECONOCZAR Larry Summers went as reported by the AP below:

"Geithner said the White House was not ready to rule out a tax hike to reduce the federal deficit; Summers said Obama's proposed health care overhaul needs funding from somewhere. (Secretary DUH)

"There is a lot that can happen over time," Summers said, adding that the administration believes "it is never a good idea to absolutely rule things out, no matter what." (Except the closing of Gitmo? - Czar DUH)

During his presidential campaign, Obama repeatedly pledged "you will not see any of your taxes increase one single dime." But the simple reality remains that his ambitious overhaul of how Americans receive health care promised without increasing the federal deficit — must be paid for." ("Perhaps I need to recalibrate my words" President DUH)

Finally, we get word from England, via the London Telegraph, that:

The Government's drug rationing watchdog says "therapeutic" injections of steroids, such as cortisone, which are used to reduce inflammation, should no longer be offered to patients suffering from persistent lower back pain when the cause is not known.Instead the National Institute of Health and Clinical Excellence (NICE) is ordering doctors to offer patients remedies like acupuncture and osteopathy.

Dr Christopher Wells, a leading specialist in pain relief medicine and the founder of the NHS' first specialist pain clinic, said it was "entirely unacceptable" that conventional treatments used by thousands of patients would be stopped.

"I don't mind whether some people want to try acupuncture, or osteopathy. What concerns me is that to pay for these treatments, specialist clinics which offer vital services are going to be forced to close, leaving patients in significant pain, with nowhere to go,"

He said: "The consequences of the NICE decision will be devastating for thousands of patients. It will mean more people on opiates, which are addictive, and kill 2,000 a year. It will mean more people having spinal surgery, which is incredibly risky, and has a 50 per cent failure rate."

So, let's see... The same bureaucrats who can't figure out how to set up a car trade-in program are the very ones that ObamaCare proposes to put in charge of healthcare, ONE SIXTH of the American economy? And the "progressive" Congresscritters pushing for all this are the ones that think the "single payer" programs of government-run healthcare in England and Canada should be the model for our own?

Now do you see why I titled this post "Wonderland?"

As Alice said:

"If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see?"

She must have been one of the Obama "CZARS."

Head back to the high ground!

Take along your phone and computer to do what is necessary.

Hating Independence Day

2009-07-05T06:30:00.000-07:00

Hi, Guys!

America's Independence Day, the 4th of July, is one of my favorite holidays. Yesterday, our family celebrated in the standard variety of ways. Dragonfly's family sponsored a Church picnic breakfast and invited me to speak on "What Liberty Means to Me." The Carlsons (pere) and Carlsons (fils) joined the Leesburg Gang for a late afternoon barbeque and birthday party for America, then most went to the fireworks in the local park. The Honeybee's family had all the kids together for shaving cream fights, fireworks, Wii contests, made to order lunches and a barbeque dinner with more fireworks and a slide show of the day's activities. The Digital Architect and his family were in San Diego, celebrating with the family of Mindelicious. They will join us next week.

So where was President Obama? He had time for a brief appearance in his yard and a helicopter flight (!) to distant Fort McNair (maybe 4 miles away) to be seen with the troops.

Other than that, no statement, no rousing holiday speeches, no parades. I suspect he must have been working hard on getting the teleprompter right for his next set of speeches during this week's extension of the "Apologize for America Tour"which will take him to Russia, Italy and Ghana. You can be sure that there will be lots to apologize for in each place.

While he's gone, the local paper will keep up the Obama drumbeat. My favorite fish wrap, the Washington Compost (rapidly becoming the Washington Ghost) viscerally hates Independence Day. Our nation's birthday involves celebrating those things which the liberal press finds abhorrent - independence, liberty, patriotism, celebration of our fallen heroes, recollection of our glorious history as the world leader in support of freedom.

Here are some excerpts from the Compost's front page article this AM. The full article is available at Washington Post.com (WARNING -HAVE A BARF BAG HANDY):

"Washingtonians gathered yesterday to celebrate Independence Day in a country transformed by recession, war and a shift in political winds, events that have affected their outlook on the nation's fate and their own..."

"Until yesterday, Helen Ingallis had never wanted to wave an American flag.

She felt that the country was too aggressive in its foreign policy, that its leaders were irrational and self serving. This year, adorned in patriotic red, white and blue, the District native...paraded flag in hand. 'I feel like there is finally hope..."

"Surviving Marines also gathered, about 80 of them, some still close shaven, others wearing their hair long. They remembered their fallen, 21 young men, 17 of whom were killed in the 2004 battle for Fallujah, Iraq... Karen Cox started by pointing out that the hotel staff had provided a box of tissues for each row of chairs in the room. 'It's okay to let the tears fall -

don't fight it too hard...."

" Vera Nathan and her (same sex) partner, Sheneva Willingham, sat in the park, drinking Schlitz High Gravity Lagers, sharing cigarettes and taking in their new neighborhood...On the table was the couple's wallet, along with a picture of the president and the first lady on election night... Neither Nathan nor Willingham has a job. Recession has made their hard lives harder. 'I've had to fight for everything, Nathan said. Just got me a place

and I'm still scrambling to get to eat.' "

In my view, this Administration and its sycophant liberal press hate Independence Day -

after all, they are rapidly trying to make Americans more dependent. More dependent on

international approval, more dependent on foreign oil, more dependent on junk science climate change policies and - most of all - more dependent on the government for everything from banking to automobile manufacture to healthcare to temperature control in our homes, and on and on... And this sudden dependence on the government to run every aspect of our lives must happen immediately! Don't read the warning labels on any of these bills...

Now I understand what Candidate Teleprompter meant when he said as he accepted his party's nomination on June 3rd of last year:

"This was the moment – this was the time – when we came together to remake this great nation so that it may always reflect our very best selves, and our highest ideals."

Whose very best selves? Whose highest ideals? Not mine, that's for sure.

"Extreme Makeover", indeed. I want the TV rights.

Fortifying the high ground, I remain sincerely yours...

Thoughts on 14 Fathers

2009-06-20T06:02:00.000-07:00

On this Father's Day weekend, I would like to share with you some thoughts on 14 fathers for whom I am grateful.

First, of course, is my father, Gunnar, shown above on his wedding day in 1932. Dad has now been gone from us for 26 years, yet there never passes a day when I don't think about him and all he meant to me.

Second is a father named David, who raised my daughter when I believed, under the circumstances, I could not . David did a magnificent job and then provided his exceptional daughter the opportunity to find the Queen and me. I am forever thankful for his efforts, his achievements and his willingness to share.

Next are the four fathers I am privileged to call my sons. Christopher, Thomas, Travis and Matthew are shown below in their monkey suits with gorgeous brides. Each of these men are now fathers as well, and excellent ones at that. I am thankful that all of them have done so well in leading and loving their families.

Well, that's six of the fourteen fathers I want to thank. Who could possibly be next?

The next seven are my six grandsons and my grandson-to-be. While not yet fathers, they are fathers-in-waiting. So Christopher, Owen, Jonah, Soren, Samuel, Hugo and (can you hear me?) Baby Boy X - pay attention to your Dads and learn from them how to be the great fathers you are destined to be. I'll be watching...

Finally, at Number 14 but actually at Number 1, I want to thank my Father in Heaven for the many blessings he has bestowed upon both me and my family. Last year at this time, my condition was pretty bad. Now, thanks to the tender mercies of my Heavenly Father and the prayers from all of you, I am happy and much more healthy. There are still challenges ahead, but I have confidence in the future.

So, Happy Father's Day to each and every one of you who have earned the title, "Dad."

Of all my degrees, ranks, awards and decorations, "Dad" will always be my proudest

achievement.

As the current country music song goes,

"Fathers don't just love their children

Every now and then...

It's a love without end,

Amen."

Remember Them - They Died for Your Freedom....

2009-06-04T17:21:00.000-07:00

OPINION
JUNE 5, 2009

The Meaning of Bloody Omaha

On D-Day, the U.S. saved Europe from itself.

By HERBERT LONDON

The skies over Normandy are invariably filled with dark rain clouds. But on one day in late April the sky was cloudless and the English Channel tranquil. Youngsters built sand castles on Omaha Beach and dogs romped in the surf. It was a vastly different scene from the bloodshed and violence that occurred on this same beach 65 years ago.

In an effort to understand what the GIs experienced on that fateful day of June 6, 1944, I climbed up a steep hill to the plain above the beach. Unlike the soldiers, I didn't carry an 80-pound pack on my back. And even though I observed German fortifications on my way, no one was firing at me.

These fortifications are a reminder that despite feints to Calais and bombing along the coast prior to the invasion, Nazi forces were well ensconced when the U.S. and its allies landed. Most of the bombs aimed at these German installations landed several kilometers inland -- a condition that distinguished Omaha Beach from Utah Beach. Omaha Beach was Bloody Omaha, a scene of so much death that it was unprecedented in American history. One soldier noted "there were body parts everywhere and the sea turned red with blood."

Many never made it to the shore from their landing crafts. Some were shot and some drowned, not realizing that if you wear a flotation device around your waist instead of under your arms it may not be possible to stand in the turbulent surf with a heavy pack. There was panic, confusion, camaraderie and bravery on the beach that day that changed the world.

The cemetery for the fallen overlooks Omaha Beach. It was noon when I stood at the edge of the cemetery, looking out at row after row of the graves. The bells played "God Bless America." There was a burly fellow wearing steel- frame glasses standing in front of me, most likely an octogenarian. As the bells sounded our eyes met. I wanted to say something to him, but he removed his glasses and wiped the tears from his eyes. Words were unnecessary; he and I shared a silent understanding.

There is simply no way to describe the sacrifice Americans made on the D-Day invasion to reclaim Europe from the grip of totalitarianism. Even the notoriously dispassionate Europeans realize that this is consecrated ground, a place where angels spread their wings to honor the deeds of youthful warriors. No St. Crispin speeches were necessary here, for this Band of Brothers knew what need not be stated: They were saving Europe from enslavement.

As a local Normandy resident wrote during the occupation, "A German lieutenant said 'we are your masters.' Well they were, until the Americans arrived." Gen. Dwight D. Eisenhower was a 20th century Moses. Gen. George Patton's Third Army fanned out across the northern tier of France. Though he had his detractors, Gen. Patton knew how to fight and win.

We have grown complacent as a people in the last six and a half decades since the war in Europe reached the beginning of the end. But it is hard to remain unemotional at the hilltop cemetery that honors those who made the ultimate sacrifice so that we may live in freedom.

Though we owe these men a debt we can never repay, what we can do is honor them. Their bravery can still inspire if the story of D-Day is told with passion and honesty.

The world offers challenges each year since freedom is tested in each generation by new pharaohs. We need the guardians of liberty to remind us how precarious that freedom is. We need to rise to the occasion the way young American soldiers did on June 6, 1944. They are a constant reminder that liberty requires vigilance and courage if it is to survive.

Mr. London is president of the Hudson Institute and professor emeritus at New York University. He is the author of "Decade of Denial" (Lexington Books, 2001) and "America's Secular Challenge" (Encounter Books, 2008).

Intergenerational Wealth Transfer

2009-06-03T08:49:00.000-07:00

Above is a picture of some young guy and the first car he ever owned, a Chevrolet Corvair Corsa. Not nearly as sporty as the Corvettes, GTO's and Pontiac Le Mans

that many of my West Point classmates bought, but for $2300, pretty cool.

Of course, that was purchased before Ralph Nader wrote Unsafe at Any Speed.

Turns out, old Ralph was right - putting the engine in the back was something that only Volkswagen knew how to do. The General Motors attempt at that made for a dicey ride in which the car seemed to want to spin around with a mind of its own.

The Corvair was taken to Germany and sold when I left for Vietnam. Some unsuspecting German bought it for more than I had paid two years earlier, and that was after two accidents, both spin outs! I told him that it was very temperamental and needed to be driven with care, but he wanted it anyway...

That, however, was the last General Motors car I ever owned. From there, several Ford products and a Mercedes in Germany until the Queen discovered a used Honda Accord. Since then, we have bought nine Hondas in a row, and I have now graduated to an Acura. Change the oil and those cars run like a Swiss watch. Plus, most are made in Ohio!

But several months ago, I did buy another General Motors product - their common stock. Just could not bring myself to believe that GM could go under. After all, talk about too big to fail...

Well, on Monday, my GM stock became worthless but my grandchildren and great grandchildren now own 60% of whatever the "new" General Motors will be. Their co-owners are the few remaining bondholders who successfully argued that a secured GM bond ought to be ahead of the UAW pension fund, but lost out to the Obama Administration's Automobile Restructuring Committee, who know how to count votes rather than preserve bankruptcy law hierarchy.

I can only "hope" that my small loss will become a great gain for the grandkids and great grandkids, since my best guess is that they will own GM for a long time, with direct payments being made to the "New Government Motors" from their tax dollars, as well as the interest they will have to pay on the ongoing and incredible process of doubling the National Debt.

I also "hope" that all this money being created from thin air by the Fed can somehow be removed from the economy at exactly the right moment so as to avoid a massive dose of inflation.

However, as my former boss, General Gordon Sullivan, was fond of saying, "Hope is not a course of action."

Pay attention, folks... Maybe we are going to need some of the change that these tax and spend policies ought to cause. 2010 elections are not too distant to consider.

D'ya think?

Right Wing Extremist - C'est Moi!

2009-05-03T18:01:00.000-07:00

Last week, Secretary Janet (from another Planet) Napolitano released a report which both stated and implied that returning veterans are a significant threat to the security of the United States.

Included in the nine page DHS Intelligence Report was this: “The possible passage of new restrictions on firearms and the return of military veterans facing significant challenges reintegrating into their communities could lead to the potential emergence of terrorist groups or lone wolf extremists capable of carrying out violent attacks.”

Thought I would share with you a video clip from the Country Music Awards of 23 April. This performance brought the house down unlike any other. I guess all those in the audience, to include Nicole Kidman, are part of the right wing terrorist recruiting network. As are Trace Adkins, The West Point Glee Club and LT Andrew Kinard, USMC, enroute to Harvard Law in the Fall.

I was unable to imbed this video, so here is the URL to paste in your browser:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ge9zXIQq5HI

In case Secretary Napolitano needs more intelligence on this "veteran threat", I have also included the location of a list of 58,260 names of likely suspects at the top of this page. Included are 30 of my West Point Classmates, three of my roommates and three soldiers who were killed in action while I was in command.

Perhaps the Secretary could walk the several blocks from her headquarters to this location and tell the visiting families that their sons and daughters, had they survived, would have been likely terrorists. Perhaps...

Or maybe the high ground would cause her to become dizzy and faint.

Surprise! Are You Surprised?

2009-04-06T06:58:00.000-07:00

April seems to be the month for surprises. After all, it begins with April Fool's Day, the day for surprising your friends with faux surprises.

Sometimes surprises that come in April can be delightful. Just after I finished cancer therapy last year, The Queen and I were at the beginning of a very lengthy and painful recovery process when we were given a wonderful surprise which many/most of you know. That's the kind of event in which we were really, happily surprised!

But this April, it seems we have surprises each day on the news which are not so surprising, and certainly not very delightful.

Yesterday, the North Koreans launched their long expected missile over Japan, the event that had been specifically prohibited by the UN Security Council. Today, the United States, which had warned that such a launch would be "a provocative act," will announce a White House ordered 20% reduction in its spending on our missile defense system. Surprise! But are you surprised?

Several weeks ago, when President Obama signed the $410 Billion spending bill, he announced that the earmarks contained in that bill would mark "the end of the old way of doing business." Today, as the House Appropriations Committee begins putting together the new bills which will make up the more than $ 1 Trillion budget for this year, the committee has accepted requests for more than 3,000 additional earmarks which have never been evaluated by any authorization committee. Surprise! But, after gagging, are you surprised?

Yesterday's Washington Compost reported the following concerning the proposed Congressional vote to give Washington D.C. a voting Representative in the Congress:

"Eleanor Holmes Norton, the non-voting D.C. delegate to the House who aspire to be its voting representative, has made clear that she regards questions of constitutionality as irrelevant and she thinks members of the House and Senate do, too. 'I don't think members are in the least bit affected in their votes on the on the question of its constitutionality,' she said just last week. 'People vote their politics in the House and in the Senate.' "

Surprise! But, besides feeling ill, are you surprised?

There was a great quote at the start of Mary O'Grady's opinion piece in today's Wall Street Journal:

"We have sunk to such a depth that the restatement of the

obvious has become the first duty of intelligent men."

George Orwell, 1939

So, here is the obvious, a paraphrase attributed to Edmund Burke:

All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that enough good men do nothing.

Head to the high ground, armed with your teabags, stamps, envelopes and both email and snail mail addresses for the people who claim to represent you. Restate the obvious to them. Don't be among the good men who do nothing. Please.

Surprise them. Perhaps for change you can believe in...

Calling a Spade a Peach?

2009-03-28T10:27:00.000-07:00

Hi, Guys!

First, the picture above is required by Dragonfly in her latest post. It is the sixth picture in the IPhoto file on this laptop, and she tagged me to provide it. The photo is of the Queen and the Kernal at the Class of '66 mini-reunion last September in Nashville.

But my real purpose in blogging today is to address the new Administration's desire to change the English language in the spirit of kinder, gentler, political correctness.

As you know, The Global War on Terror has now ended. Michelle Obama planted a victory garden on the White House Lawn, but we can no longer hope for victory. Now we have just another "Overseas Contingency Operation (OCO)."

The attack on America which occurred on 9/11/2001 is now a "Man Made Disaster- (MMD)" in accordance with language recently used by Secretary Napolitano of the DHS.

I think a few additions are in order.

First, whenever we send Hillary to other countries to blame the United States for whatever is the subject du jour, as in her discussion of US drug addiction and weapons in Mexico, then we have begun HOPE - a "Heavy Overseas Peace Engagement."

Next, if we ever discover that we may have to actually fight with somebody over threats or "Man Made Disasters" perpetrated against the United States, the President can go on national TV to announce CHANGE - a "Combat Heavy Assault on Negative Government Entities." Much clearer than "regime change," no? Plus, it's CHANGE we can believe in.

I can hear it now..." Hey, Willy, how long we been on this here OCO? Couple of years? Man, with the casualties we've had already, I pray we don't run into any more MMD's tomorrow."

" Don't worry, Joe... The lady diplomat in the pants suit is out on another HOPE

mission right now. If she gets it right, we won't have to continue this CHANGE we've

been working on for the last couple of years."

"Can't believe we're taking fire yet speaking English while saying nothing. See if we can send a message up through the chain of command asking them to cut out this "Correctly Re-defined Acceptable Parlance."

"Them words are too big for me, Willy.

I've only got this piece of cardboard to write on.

What's the acronym?"

Let's all meet Willy and Joe on the high ground and help them out...

Lemonade from Lemons

2009-03-05T11:04:00.000-08:00

Hi, guys!

In all the news of massive government spending, increased taxes, and a nonetheless slowing economy, perhaps you missed this. Some bad news followed by some good news!

Last week's Obama budget for 2009 deleted all funding for the continuation of work on the

National Radioactive Nuclear Waste site at Yucca Mountain, Nevada. This was in keeping with Candidate Obama's promise to "protect the people of Nevada" and Senator Harry Reid, who in 2006 pronounced the Yucca Mountain Project as "dead," just before announcing that the surge in Iraq would never work and "this war is lost." So, Obama's budget decision was good news for Harry but not so good for the rest of America.

We have spent nuclear waste currently stored at 121 outdoor sites throughout America, each site meant to be temporary and each a hazard of radioactive material being stolen. In 1982, Congress passed and the President signed the Nuclear Waste Act, mandating study on several sites around America for permanent and secure storage of this material. Five years later, Congress selected the Yucca Mountain site in the Nevada desert, some 80 miles south of Las Vegas. After a failed Nevada challenge in the courts, Congress again confirmed Yucca Mountain in 2002 and serious planning work continued.

To date, the American taxpayer has invested $9 Billion in railway, site planning and initial construction. In addition, we have purchased a $13 Million tunnel boring device designed specifically to complete the work at Yucca Mountain.

The EPA and the Department of Energy have each spent addditional funds to separately CERTIFY in 2005 that the radiation leak risk from Yucca Mountain is so small that the US Government stands behind its finding that less than 1 millirem of radiation per year is the highest possible risk, and that for 10,000 years! That's less radiation than you get making one coast to coast flight... Unsatisfactory to Senator Reid, additional studies led to USG certification (that means financial liability) that the Yucca Mountain site would be safe for ONE MILLION years. Still unsatisfactory for the man who declared the project "dead" three years ago. So, the Obama Administration has announced that it will begin all over again to do the work that has been going on for 27 years.

More bad news. In the $787 Billion"Stimulus Act" recently signed by President Obama, there were to be no "earmarks." They still insist that to be true. However, one "shovel ready" project was $8 Billion for work on high speed rail projects ready to be built. Trouble is, there was only one such project anywhere in the nation - the high speed rail line long championed by the Senate Majority Leader to link Las Vegas to Los Angeles. Apparently the twenty-odd flights per day between the two cities were not enough to keep the dice hot or the cards shuffled enough for Harry. So, high speed rail there will be, thanks to the good senator. Oink!

Do you see how any of this can possibly end in good news?

Here's how. With all the transportation plans done for the Yucca Mountain site to accept delivery of nuclear waste, let's get some value for the money we've spent and will spend! A few minor adjustments, and we can have the waste continue to be delivered to the Yucca Mountain site where it can be easily transloaded onto the Harry Reid High Speed Rail and delivered to Los Angeles, specifically the location shown below. Let the recipients figure out what to do with their gift from Harry. "Go ahead, make my day..."

Wasted years? - 27

Wasted dollars? - $9.5 Billion plus

Solving two long term problems at once? - PRICELESS!

Well, That's a Bummer...

2009-02-27T17:30:00.000-08:00

Hi, guys!

The "Save the Planet" people just keeping getting loonier.

I love this planet -- it's the only one I will ever inhabit, so it feels like home. God made it for us and we should take care of it. But there are some limits.

Here's an article from London in today's Daily Mail. Some highlights in green. I'm not making this up.

Luxury toilet paper is more harmful to the environment than gas-guzzling cars

By Ryan Kisiel

Last updated at 1:51 AM on 27th February 2009

More than 98 per cent of toilet paper in the U.S. comes from virgin forests

Extra-soft toilet paper is more harmful to the environment than gas-guzzling cars, campaigners claimed yesterday.

An obsession by Americans for the expensive quilted and multi-ply paper means that thousands of trees are being cut down for the U.S. market every year.

More than 98 per cent of toilet paper in the country comes from virgin forests and uses hardly any recycled materials.

Toxic fumes are also released into the atmosphere because of the chemicals used in paper pulp manufacture.In Europe, up to 40 per cent of toilet paper comes from recycled products.

Scientist Allen Hershkowitz of the Natural Resources Defence Council, said: 'This is a product that we use for less than three seconds and the ecological consequences of manufacturing it from trees is enormous.

'Future generations are going to look at the way we make toilet paper as one of the greatest excesses of our age.

'Making toilet paper from virgin wood is a lot worse than driving Hummers in terms of global warming pollution.

'I really do think it is overwhelmingly an American phenomenon.

'People just don't understand that softness equals ecological destruction.'

Greenpeace has launched an ecological guide to toilet paper in an effort to counter the multi-million pound marketing budget of luxury toilet paper manufactures.

Lindsey Allen, Greenpeace's forestry campaigner, said: 'We have this myth in the U.S. that recycled is just so low quality, it's like cardboard.'

Americans use more paper than paper than any other country - about three times more than people in the UK, and 100 times more than the average person in China.

Toilet paper manufacturer Kimberly-Clark denies that its products are damaging the environment.

Spokesman Dave Dixon said his company used paper from sustainably farmed forests in Canada.

He added: 'For bath tissue Americans in particular like the softness and strength that virgin fibres provides

Well, a thought or two on the above.

1. I now understand why Europeans always seem so dour and downbeat. Hemorrhoids can do that to you.

2. The three seconds that Europeans use toilet paper may also be as a result of the pain of wiping with the recycled cardboard or corn husks or whatever that stuff is made of. Have you ever used European toilet paper? Not pleasant, let me assure you.

3. The three second wipe must also mean only one or two "sheets of pain" are used very quickly by Europeans, which may, perhaps, ofter some insight as to the smell on the Metro in Paris or the Tube in London.

4. Since Eurpeans apparently do not cut down trees nor use chemicals to process pulp, just how exactly do they get paper? The husks and cardboard answer is beginning to make sense.

5. Since "luxury toilet paper is more harmful to the environment than gas guzzling cars," perhaps we should elevate hydrogen sulfide to become the "leading greenhouse gas," replacing the evil CO2.

Somebody go ask the bears - you'll usually find them with their roll of corn husks, in the woods on the high ground.

Chicken Little Was Right...

2009-02-24T07:32:00.000-08:00

Hi, guys!

An important article up on the AP website this AM. Wanted to be sure you didn't miss it. I have highlighted a few points.

A rocket carrying a NASA global warming satellite splashed into the ocean near Antarctica early Tuesday after a failed launch.

The Taurus XL rocket carrying the Orbiting Carbon Observatory blasted off just before 2 a.m. from California's Vandenberg Air Force Base. But minutes later, a cover protecting the satellite during launch failed to separate from the rocket, a preliminary investigation found.

The 986-pound satellite was supposed to be placed into an orbit some 400 miles high to track carbon dioxide emissions. The rocket landed in the ocean near Antarctica.

A group of environment ministers from more than a dozen countries met on the southern continent this week to get the latest science on global warming.

The observatory was NASA's first satellite dedicated to monitoring carbon dioxide on a global scale. Measurements collected from the $280 million mission were expected to improve climate models and help researchers determine where the greenhouse gas originates and how much is being absorbed by forests and oceans.

Carbon dioxide is the leading greenhouse gas and its buildup helps trap heat from the sun, causing potentially dangerous warming of the planet. Carbon dioxide emissions rose 3 percent worldwide from 2006 to 2007, according to international science agencies."

Well, several thoughts come to mind.

1. Launching a rocket named "Taurus" was certainly not too wise. The only worse choice would have been to launch one named "Edsel."

2. Okay, the purpose of the program was to track carbon dioxide. Where does it come from and where does 50% of it disappear to? Give me the $280 Million this failed Taurus mission cost and I'll answer the question. 0.117% comes from human activity, the rest from nature. That's $31 Million per word. Next question?

3. I'll bet that in a about a week or two, some "scientist" is going to report a "spike" in the ocean temperature near Antarctica. Of course, it will be attributed to global warming, not to the fiery crash of a NASA rocket.

4. I am curious as to where the "environment ministers" from more than a dozen countries met in Antarctica this week. Did the Ross Ice Shelf Hilton have a series of cancellations which permitted the ministers and their myriad of straphangers to slip in?

5. Finally, AP reports that carbon dioxide is "the leading greenhouse gas." Leading in what? Certainly not in quantity - water vapor is 95% of greenhouse gas, while CO2 is only 3.618%. Maybe "leading" is as in "leading lady?" Or perhaps "leading" means leading the uninformed public around by the nose? In truth, carbon dioxide is "THE MOST MISLEADING GREENHOUSE GAS!" Strong opinions follow...

Best wishes to John, Kirk, Denise, Jean, Sonya and others who are working their way through health issues at this time.

When you're up on the high ground, be certain you're not downrange from any rockets named after Ford products...

The Birds and the Puhleeze...

2009-02-13T17:40:00.000-08:00

Hi, Guys! It's been only a few days since my last post, but I got tired of reading the thousands of pages of the Porculus Bill, so I found this in The Washington Compost this morning. They never fail to start my day with laughter.

Here's the quick summary. Researchers put small transmitters on songbirds and then tracked them during their migration to Latin America and back in the fall/spring of 2007-08.

"As one researcher held the bird still, another would slide a Teflon loop around one of the animal's legs -- in much the way that a parent slips a backpack over a child's shoulders -- before working a second loop around the other leg and then stitching the loops together with Kevlar thread. Set free, the 14 wood thrushes and 20 purple martins took off that fall on their epic seasonal voyages to South America, with the 'geolocators' resting

comfortably on their backs."

I would like to see the transcript of the birds being polled as to how comfortable the little backpacks were. When the birds returned, even though their 'geolocators' allowed researchers to "calculate where each bird was on any given day," only SEVEN of the 34 birds were found. This appears to have been a flight test in which only one fifth of the tested aircraft survived....

At the same time, the researchers tracked the bird's flight path both soutward and northward. Much to their surprise, the birds took more direct flight paths to get to Latin America, while flying the long routes heading back north. These researchers obviously have never gone to a vacation site in record time, then come home a little slower... However, one researcher noted:

"One northbound wood thrush, opting for the scenic route, took 29 days to fly 2,852 miles, choosing not to cross the Gulf of Mexico. The fact that it did not attempt the more than 12 hour non-stop crossing could indicate that it was underfed and tired because its wintering ground in South America had become degraded."

There it is! The obligatory reference to how global warming is harming even the most lovable of creatures - small songbirds. No mention of the possibility that the cute little 'geolocator' backpack may have had any role in the wood thrush's being tired and hence his choice of northward routes.

The scientists concluded:

"There's no sign at all that the songbirds even know they're wearing the backpacks.

The team is hoping to collect more data this spring; it placed 'geolocators' on 20 more purple martins and 35 wood thrushes in 2008.

The scientists still do not understand why they were able to recapture only two of the purple martins last year but will continue to pursue the research unless they find out this year that only a few purple martins return."

I suppose it's the birds fault for being unable to give signs that humans understand, like, "Get this stupid thing off my back!"

Looks like it's gonna be a tough year for the purple martins trying to avoid be captured and fitted with the "cute little backpack of death."

Meanwhile, the National Association of Birds Doing Research on Humans (NABDROH) has proposed a similar experiment to track humans in their annual movements.

Large birds will be used to select and capture human "volunteers" for the "cute little backpacks" the small birds will place on them. Head for the high ground.

Be Afraid, Again

2009-02-09T12:23:00.000-08:00

Hi, guys! It's been a month since I've posted, probably because all the news has been bad and getting worse daily. But today was different...

You've heard me previously refer to our local paper as The Washington Compost. That's for obvious reasons due to the odor of most of its reporting. But today it earns its name because it is The Washington Comedy Post.

As the Queen's sister, Sylvia (the one with the megawatt smile) always says, "There's nothing like a good snake story." Well, the Compost had one this morning that I just couldn't pass up.

The big snake depicted above is not just big, it's TITANIC! Claimed to be nearly 43 feet long and weighing in at over a ton, this baby's fossil part (a vertebrae) was found in a coal mine in South America, where it lived about 60 million years ago. Aptly enough, it has been named Titanoboa cerrejonensis, roughly translated from the Latin as "big snake from Cerrejon."

It is claimed to have feasted on very large turtles such as shown in the drawing as well as eating entire huge crocodiles in a single swallow. It is said to have been able to eat a cow in one bite, although cows weren't around 60 million years ago, so how that was guessed is beyond me.

But here's the best part. Snakes are pretty scary, right? Well, when all the latest science is going the wrong way on Global Warming and London just had its worst snowstorm in 60 years, something is needed to get people back into their "Day After Tomorrow" mentality - where global warming caused New York to freeze over... huh?

So, cue the monster snake! The lead scientist for the article published in Nature is a guy named Jason Head. Based on his report, his nickname is probably "Hop." Dr. Hop reported that the average temperature in the Colombian jungles during the time of Titanoboa was somewhere between 86 and 93 degrees Fahrenheit, about 10 degrees hotter than it is there today. So, just fairly small changes in temperature can apparently produce things that will eat Bossy in one bite...

Wait, says Dr. Hop.

"It is a big leap to go from a natural kind of global warming that takes place over tens of thousands to millions of years to human-induced climate change taking place over decades. (back pedal)

(Leap anyway) That being said, it should make people pause and consider what might be the effects of heating up the equator as well as heating up the high latitudes through global warming."

Human induced climate change... If you've been following this blog for any time at all, you'll know that the Kernal is a skeptic on that. 95% of all the greenhouse gas affecting the Earth is Water Vapor (H2O) which God makes and of which man produces almost none. (0.001%) 3.618% of greenhouse gas is Carbon Dioxide of which man produces and emits 0.117%.

So Dr. Hop Head is telling us to shut down the world's economy (in the middle of a pretty serious slowdown to boot) in order that we may reduce our ONE EIGHTH OF ONE PERCENT contribution to climate change (formerly known as global warming)? Absolutely -- let people starve and return to their agrarian roots - - - lest there be snakes... Big snakes! Scary snakes! Big, scary snakes!

Stay tuned for the next Washington Comedy Post episode of "Be Afraid - Be Very Afraid" The expected topic will be Gargantuspidersanfranciscus.

Until then, keep fighting, Kirk! We'll see you on the high ground! No snakes allowed.

Reap the Whirlwind

2009-01-09T17:37:00.000-08:00

Hi, Guys!

It's been a month since I last posted,

so I'd best get started before I get toasted.

The Kernal is pleased to report that today's MRI reading at Bethesda, following the PET and CT scans of December, was reported as "Clean." This is the result that we, along with many of you, were praying for. Thank you so much for your prayers! Once again, they have worked.

This Christmas just passed was certainly a lot different from Christmas 2007 when we had just received the cancer diagnosis. The Queen and I spent a delightful Christmas week out in Denver with Matt, Mindy, Whitney, Olivia and Tessa. We returned to Ashburn in the wee hours of 28 December and then celebrated a second gift opening session with the Carlsons and Lees of NOVA.

As I should have no doubt guessed, blogging is its own reward. Sow the wind and reap the whirlwind...The stylish polar bear pajama bottoms and shorts were Christmas gifts from the family. The lovely polar bear card, complete with dancing bears when you pull the tab, was from Jean and Joan (and the bears). The silver polar bear bookmark was an earlier gift from Apis Melliflora, one of my most loyal readers who lurks around this blog and occasionally comments. Below is a blowup that I hope you can read...

So, write about stuff and it will magically appear. This new year I think I will spend lots of time writing about the pictures of Dead Presidents on rapidly devaluing US currency...

We here at Polar Bear Central wish all of you and yours a safe, healthy and properous New Year. Fortunes are made in times like these. Hooah!

Jean and I wish you all the best from the high ground. Brother Kirk and friend Denise are coming up the hill!

I Rest My Case...

2008-12-10T11:38:00.001-08:00

German zoo: Polar bear mom may have eaten her cub

Nuremberg, Germany (AP) Dec 10, 2008

The Nuremberg Zoo says that one of a pair of twin polar bears has died - and that it is possible its mother ate it.

The twin bears were born three weeks ago to Vera, who is also the mother of the zoo's celebrity polar bear - Flocke.

Flocke had been rejected by her mother, Vera, and was hand-raised by zookeepers.

Vera did not reject the two new cubs born in late November, but the zoo says that the twin cub died Monday. The cub had not yet been named.

The bear can no longer be seen on a video monitoring the animal's enclosure. The zoo said Wednesday it is possible Vera ate it.

The zoo says cubs typically have about a 50% chance of survival. The other cub remains in good health.

P.S. From the Kernal: The mother bear was recently overheard on FBI wiretaps talking to the Governor of Illinois about the chances of being appointed to fill the Senate seat of President-elect Obama. The price discussed was one million dollars or one polar bear cub.

Rejected cub Flocke is currently under the protection of US Marshals sent to Nuremberg.

Be Afraid. Be Very Afraid!

2008-11-26T09:53:00.000-08:00

Hi, Guys!
Recently, the Washington Compost had a brief article about the fruit bats shown above. They live on an island near Madagascar, in the Indian Ocean, weigh up to ten pounds, and have a wing span of four to six feet. They are sometimes also known as fox bats.

Perhaps most interesting is that, although they sense the fruit they eat by vision and smell, not echoes like most bats, they choose to go out for dinner after dark, when presumably the fruit is harder to see...

In the daytime, when they sleep, they hang upside down in tall trees. Because locals often like to kill them for food, they have discovered that selecting tall trees in cemeteries works best, since the natives don't like to go there.

Hmmm.... Large bats from the species Pteropus vampyrus who only hunt at night for things more easily seen in daylight and who choose to live in cemeteries... Sound familiar?

Such creatures have recently been having an unusual impact on my daughters, nieces and even the Queen. They have been seen spending long hours reading hundreds of pages of what appears to be an advertising catalog for cheap beer.

Then, they have been going out at strange hours (12:01 AM) to see the infomercial made about this beer ad catalog, where they were joined by thousands of screaming female teenagers who had apparently been served this beverage before legally allowed. The Queen went to see the infomercial at 11:00 AM, where she was joined by only nine other women. The daughters went back for second helpings.

The basis for all this weird behavior is apparently some dude named Edward, a guy with slightly reddish eyes, pasty white skin and a really bad haircut. One of my daughters told me that he was among the "Ten Sexiest Men of 2008", a title for which I have yet to be nominated, much less selected.

Not unlike the Pteropus Vampyrus, this guy has some strange habits - and an inexplicable attraction for women who read beer catalogs. Also like the huge bats off the coast of Africa, Edward seems to have a penchant for tall trees, places where he takes his date?

Anyhow, I believe that all real men, not those who have been selected as the sexiest man of any given year, should look into this matter more closely. It would be bad enough to lose your women to some cheap beer, but to then have them taken into tall trees, only to lose their balance and fall, would be a tragedy.

Maybe that's why one of the follow-on catalogs was titled Breaking Down...

(Note: this post was written by a polar bear and edited by a Beluga whale. Please do not complain to the normal author of posts on this blog. Happy Thanksgiving. Thank you.)

This and That

2008-11-22T06:31:00.000-08:00

Hi, Guys!

That's what a little friend of mine (age 2+) says whenever she sees the Queen and I. Saw her during a short trip to Ohio last week.

Several items of interest, perhaps. First, spent two hours on Animal Planet Channel last night, watching back to back episodes of "Polar Bears Uncovered" and "Whale Wars." Began to think that this channel is designing its schedule just for me and my blog readers...

Learned that polar bears can smell food (alive or dead) 15 miles away. They are slow in getting there because of their weight, but they keep following their noses until they find the food. Also learned, to my disgust, that male polar bears often stalk female polar bears and their one or two cubs, waiting for the cubs, who do not yet have the several hundred pounds of blubber insulation, to founder. The mother polar bear must then move on, protecting the survivor cub, while the male, not normally the father polar bear, then eats the foundered cub. Only one in six polar bear cubs makes it to their second year...

Also learned that polar bears have occasionally come upon Beluga whale pods that have become boxed into ice pens. The show reported that up to 40 whales had been slaughtered and eaten by polar bears in one such instance. It turns out that polar bears can swim the 100 meter Olympic race 10 (ten) seconds FASTER that any human swimmer, including Michael Phelps!

So, how ironic, the Kernal's two favorite critters turn out to be joined at the hip on the food chain...

As to whales, "Whale Wars" was all about "the Sea Shepherds," a group of eco-loonies who attack Japanese whaling ships in the Antarctic, throwing stink and acid bombs onto the decks, and attempting to foul the propellors by throwing heavy rope lines under the ships. Two of the "Sea Shepherds" leaped aboard the Japanese ship from a rubber Zodiac speed boat, and then wondered why the Japanese crew tied them up and sailed away. The eco-loonies were looking for the chance to yell "hostages" to the eager international press...

On the cancer front, I recently had another PET scan. Some unknown activity showed in my neck, so I now must have yet another CT scan with contrast for the docs to examine in early December. I feel fine and I detected no urgency from the docs, so I suspect all will be fine. Stay tuned.

Finally, someone threw this over the internet transom the other day and I ordered a case of this obviously needed drug. I'll let you know how it works, ya think?

PUSHing for Gunnar, Kirk, Jean, Denise and others of you who need our prayers. See you on the high ground.

Recycling

2008-11-02T20:11:00.001-08:00

Hi Everyone!

Just wanted to close this Halloween weekend with some thoughts on recycling.

If you go back to my January blogs of this year, you'll find the picture of me above. It was the day I was fitted for my radiation mask, the one that mapped my head so that the IMRT radiation beams could be fired at exactly the right spot and at exactly the right millisecond.

You may recall that I was strapped down with this mask attached to the table and my hands and feet bound so that I could not move during the 35 hours of radiation therapy I had, one hour at a time.

My good friend, Lady Josh of Jean's Green and Pink Ribbons, is now undergoing the same sort of radiation treatment, although I don't think she has a mask. Jean, I think of you and pray for you every day. There's no reason why your therapy can't be just as successful as mine has been.

And, Brother Kirk, I think of you and pray for you each day as well. Your chemotherapy has been, and will be, a lot tougher than the 288 hours of drugs in my body. But your therapy can be, and will be, just as successful as mine.

May both of you be blessed with strength and courage. There are a lot of folks out here who are mentioning your name to the Lord each day. He will watch over you, even on those days when you feel too tired to be strong. Be strong anyway!

And, at the end of your treatment and after you recover, there are times when you will look back and wonder how you did it. It was with His help and His strength when yours was not enough.

Plus, you will get to laugh again! Like last Saturday when we took the local kids and grandkids to the Udvar Hazy Air and Space Museum for their Halloween Open House. Guess what I wore as a costume?

Let me assure you that, although there were a lot of witches, the Queen and her sister Linda among them, and although there were plenty of Star Wars characters, there was only one guy wearing a radiation mask among the thousands in the place.

I was asked by over 25 parents to have my picture taken with their children, who found me to be pretty spooky. I even told a few parents what the mask was when they asked.

So, despite my aversion to polar bears and whales, you can see that I'm really ecology friendly by recycling that which most would rather discard.

Jean and Kirk, save a souvenir for when you reach the high ground!

Stop Wailing!

2008-10-15T17:19:00.000-07:00

Hi, Everyone,

It's been awhile since I've seen you all and the markets are still jumping up and down, so I think I'll pick another topic besides finance for this post. You know my thoughts on polar bears, but where does the Kernal stand on whales?

Whales are NOT our friends. Just ask the Digital Architect. When he was still in high school we had an attractive but totally soaked young lady come to our door in a rainstorm and ask us to help her "save the whales." We invited her in to towel off, and as she was doing so we explained several things about whales that she perhaps had not known:

1. Whales are the dinosaurs that escaped into the ocean after that huge comet hit Earth. They are one of only two fish-like mammals that live in the ocean, the other being dolphins. By escaping into the water, they survived the extinction of their fellow dinosaurs. This explains why they are so huge, just like their dead brothers were.

2. Whales cause more international disputes than any other animal. Brazil, Japan, American Eskimos, Russians, Iceland and others are continually arguing over which of them has a need and the right to "harvest" whales. Add Greenpeace to that mixture and there is continuing strife at sea.

3. Whales are the largest single polluters of the oceans. Baby whales are born weighing one ton or more and they double their length in one year. Adult Right Whales grow to up to 60 feet long and weigh up to 80 tons! Now just how much do you think these beasts have to eat to support that kind of growth and weight? The resulting waste products sink to the bottom of the sea, bringing forth our common expression, "lower than whale poop..." Lots of it.

4. Whales do not like humans. Didn't you read Moby Dick? Not only do they not like us, they are also involved in a plot to return to dry land now that the comet dust has cleared. That's why you often hear or read about a bunch of whales who beach themselves on our shores. Here is a picture of a platoon of them trying to sneak ashore. They're baaaack!

5. Finally, whales provide the pretext for the ecoterrorists who wish to prevent the U.S. Navy from training and commercial shipping from doing its job efficiently. Just last week, the U.S. Supreme Court was asked to rule on the NOAA regulation that says that all shipping arriving in this country must slow to 11.5 MPH within 20 miles of our coastline. The "Save the Whales " crowd wants that limit moved out to 30 miles from the coast. Why?

Because only 83% of the whale sightings occur within 20 miles from the coast, while 90% occur within 30 miles. So, they asking for a 50% increase in slower, more inefficient shipping to gain a 7% increase in whale sightings. Will this help "save the whales?" Nope.

For two reasons. First, since NOAA started the 20 mile limit in 2006, there have been a grand total of 3 whales who have been struck by ships and were killed. Three whales in two years! Now there's a crisis!

Second, no one has yet shown that the ships struck the whales rather than the whales struck the ships. Remember, whales do not like people. Remember Jonah and remember Pinocchio! It is said that the whales are too slow to ram ships, yet we have pictures of these 80 ton ex-dinosaurs leaping out of the water higher than Michael Jordan ever could. They don't look so slow to me.

On the West Coast, the Whale People want the Navy to stop training on the use of new sonar which will detect the very quiet diesel submarines which have been developed by the Chinese and North Koreans. The Whale People claim that their huge friends become disoriented by the sounds of the sonar and head for the shore to become stranded and die. That platoon you saw on the beach didn't look very disoriented to me - they were in an attack formation!

They obviously have forgotten that the whales are intentionally coming ashore, usually in the dead of night, to see how far inland they can get before dawn. That also explains why you read about the occasional whale or two found swimming well upstream in someone's river. They are the scouts, looking for a place where the rest of the whales can land, hide and rest while learning to walk again. They're baaaack!

Perhaps the most telling comment to come out of the Supremes last week was from Justice Stephen Breyer:

"I don't know anything about this. I'm not a naval officer. Why couldn't you work this thing out? You're asking us - who know nothing about whales and less about the military - to start reading all these documents to try to figure out who's right... I think the whole point of the armed forces is to hurt the environment...On a bombing mission, do they have to prepare an environmental impact statement first?"

Well, despite his proper concern with the weirdo arguments of the Whale People, I found the good Justice's knowledge of the military and its mission to be just a wee bit disconcerting.

Beware of people who want you to love polar bears and whales. You'll be safer and glad if you exercise that caution. And if you hear something big flopping around in your back yard, don't turn on the lights to take a look...

There is some high ground somewhere near you. Know where it is.

Thank Goodness!

2008-10-03T16:06:00.000-07:00

Today marks a milestone not seen since the elections of 2006: the Congress of the United States temporarily stopped their partisan rancor and childish bickering long enough to actually get done what was required for the good of the Nation. Hooray!

After Monday's failure to pass the Emergency Economic Stabilization Act of 2008, our legislators watched the markets erase $1.2 Trillion in wealth, the credit markets begin to tighten further, foreign governments and central banks pleading for American action, and small and large businesses throughout America begging for help. The Commercial Paper market, the way firms borrow short term without having to float bonds or issue new stock, had doubled interest rates on those notes within two days. A real wolf was at the door.

The legislator with the best name in Congress, Zach Wamp, Republican of Tennessee, said that he had "voted with his heart against the bill on Monday." Today, Congressman Wamp made the decision to vote with his brain. 33 Democrats and 24 other Republicans who had opposed the bill on Monday today joined Representative Wamp in becoming "brainiacs." What a pleasant change...

The President signed the bill this afternoon and SECTREAS Paulson promised to start immediately to implement the purchase and removal from the credit markets the toxic sub-prime mortgage securities as the law now requires. This will happen over the next several months, not the next several days, so we must not expect that the disaster which has been building since 1977 will be swept away in the blink of an eye.

Several alarming things I have learned in this crisis. First is that the children of the United States are no longer required to take a Civics Class in high school. I learned this on the golf course, playing with a kid from the local school. Now, Civics was not my favorite class in school, but at least I was once exposed to the mechanics of how a bill becomes a law. My golf partner had no clue. Today's kids apparently only know what arrives as a text message on their phones...

Second thing I learned, to my dismay, is that a Congresscritter, once having voted with his/her electronic card and with the vote closed and the results announced, may then ask his/her party whip in the House to CHANGE THEIR VOTE for the record, as long as it does not change the outcome of the overall vote. So those 58 brave Members of Congress who decided to vote their brains instead of their heart today, may well go home tonight and tell their constituents that they remained true to their heartfelt principles throughout the week.

If there was a way for me to discover that my representative had voted one way and then said they didn't, that would seem to me to be an impeachable offense. But, alas, those minor details are not public in accordance with House policy.

I hope some of you took the opportunity I mentioned in an earlier post to add to your financial portfolios during the Wall Street fire sale this week. I think I said you needed to act NLT early Thursday, but I didn't explain why. Wall Street has long embraced the mantra, "Buy on the rumor, sell on the news." The markets went up on Wednesday and Thursday as buyers were reacting to the Senate's action and rumors that the House was coming around. Today, when the House passed the bill (the news), the markets dropped off slightly as sellers took control.

I added Goldman Sachs and Apple to my portfolio this week at prices less than half of what they were several months ago. There are still some bargains left after today's slight drop, but if you want to take advantage, I wouldn't wait much past early Monday.

Normally, I am very much opposed to market timing as a strategy. In this instance, I simply see a "bottom fishing" opportunity which I think will be fleeting.

Well, the storm clouds will clear over time and we have apparently dodged this bullet. Now, let's take the time to relook how we got to this mess, so that "Wall Street Greed" is not seen as the only villain. It seems to me that there is plenty of "Vote Buying Greed" that deserves equal billing.

Thanks for your many positive comments on my attempts to cut through the fog of this crisis.

Now What?

2008-09-30T12:25:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends,

Today's post sets a new record for me - three days in a row you have chosen to look at what some retired Colonel has to say about the world of arcane financial jibberish.

I believe it was Thomas Jefferson who once said, "No man or his property are safe while the legislature is in session." Yesterday was a really good example of the truth of TJ's statement.

By 23 votes, the House voted down the Emergency Economic Stabilization Act of 2008, meaning that we get to start all over again to save the economy. Those 23 votes sent the markets into a 777 point tailspin, and $1.2 Trillion dollars of wealth was wiped out on Wall Street.

I know these big numbers are hard to grasp, but one trillion is a million millions. Our entire annual economy is only 13 trillion. Eliminating $1.2 trillion dollars worth of wealth in one day may not immediately affect you, but for those Americans now living off their hard earned retirement savings, the losses to their 401k's and IRA's, the continuing fall in the value of their homes, their inability to get a new loan to buy a downsized place , the lack of buyers to take their old, too large, home off their hands - all of these things are not paper losses.

For those of you who see more homes for sale in your neighborhood, some from foreclosures, the value of your homes will soon decline even faster. Smart homeowner's associations will have to start hiring landscape firms to keep neighborhoods from going to seed.

For the small business who, for cash flow smoothing purposes, borrows regularly to make payroll or to purchase inventory, the growing inability to get credit at any reasonable rate may require them to close shop.

For those who would like a car loan or to increase a student loan, the ability to borrow is rapidly drying up.

No, the sky is not falling. But the failure of the credit markets is not just a Wall Street problem. It will affect all of us, some sooner than others, but ALL eventually. One retiree of whom I read said that the 30% loss in his IRA's over the last two months means that he will now have to plan for he and his wife to live for a 30% shorter period...

Another of my USMA classmates who is financially saavy was spot on when he said, "If the die-hard liberals continue to stress Main Street and the die-hard conservatives continue to stress Wall Street, the result will be all of us heading down Die Hard Street."

Today's market has come back a bit, but on very thin volume. Thank God for Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, which has given the Congress a chance to rethink their Monday vote and the markets to take a deep breath.

I have told my family that today, tomorrow and early Thursday will be great times to buy those stocks and funds that they have been considering. Once the Congress comes back to actually do their job, instead of pointing fingers and pontificating, the markets should show substantial increases and the "bottom fishing" opportunities will be over. Whatever they do, I advised, DON'T SELL LOW now and then BUY HIGH later, paying brokerage fees on both ends.

Some who have read my earlier post have asked why we have to spend $700 Billion all at once.

We don't. In fact, the plan before the House would have given the SECTREAS $350 billion to start buying the toxic securities immediately in order to get them out of the Credit Markets. The President could then authorize another $100 billion, if he saw the need. The final $350 billion would be authorized only if the Congress did not object after 15 days of the request.

What we most certainly DO NOT WANT is the Congress approving the spending of each dollar of this fund. Talk about special interests and pork? That would be a herd of gargantuan hogs!

These buy backs will take some time, since all financial institutions cannot be done at once, prices have to be determined, perhaps a reverse auction held, and conditions of the buy backs, such as the issuance of non-voting stock to the government, have to be negotiated.

Once the Feds own the toxic securities, the government will still get the income stream from the mortgages that are being paid regularly and the value of the securities may rise over time, perhaps even making a profit for all of us to use in reducing the deficit. Major point is that, although we have to pony up $700 Billion at the start, this program almost certainly will not cost that much once completed.

How about oversight? The original Paulson Plan tried to minimize it, but Paulson is an economic animal, not a political one. The Congress was not about to give anybody that kind of money and authority without their management in some form. The final bill which was defeated had SIX INDEPENDENT oversight entities or processes to ensure the taxpayers were protected:

1. An independent oversight board appointed by bi-partisan Congressional leaders.

2. An independent inspector general to oversee solely this Treasury function.

3. The GAO to set up an office inside the Treasury just to monitor and audit this program.

4. SECTREAS actions will be subject to judicial review.

5. Any and all Treasury bailout transactions must be disclosed to the public within two days.

6. Monthly reports to two Congressional committees and an additional report for each $50 Billion in assets purchased.

To my mind, not even a brilliant ex-Chairman of Goldman Sachs could pull unethical tricks with such supervision. Yet, thankfully, the Congress was smart enough to keep themselves out of the daily details.

There were also provisions to "punish" those greedy Wall Street executives, with options for the government to own non-voting stock, requirements for firms to pay into an insurance program for earlier purchases of mortgage-backed securities, elimination of "golden parachutes" for those executives who wish to depart rather than cooperate, and bonus payback penalties for those whose bonuses were based upon results which turned out to be bogus. There were no provisions to "punish" those lawmakers who created these "sub-prime mortgages for everyone" programs. Hopefully, someday they will answer at the ballot box.

Finally, there were provisions in the bill to help homeowners avoid foreclosure, help local community banks, give taxpayers an ownership stake in those firms being bailed out, and putting taxpayers first in line for the remaining assets of any participating firms that go belly up.

But the bill failed by 23 votes. When Congress comes back on Thursday, this problem will still be with us. It will still be very serious. As time passes the effects on both the credit market and the stock market will grow progressively worse and at alarming speed.

We need leaders and followers in Congress who will have the courage to apply First Aid.

Stop the bleeding, clear the airway, treat for shock!

The BLEEDING is the continual bickering and finger pointing between the "wing nuts" on both sides of the aisle. They weren't elected to simply vote their email totals. They were also elected to use their judgment on difficult and complex issues.

The AIRWAY is the constipation we have so graphically described earlier (and which many of you loved for its clarity...) Cleanse the credit markets and the financial system of the toxic waste of mortgage backed securities... And for those who asked that "some strings be attached to the enema to keep it from becoming diarrhea," there are plenty of strings in place as outlined above.

Fast, comprehensive and effective elimination of the blockages to the airway (or any other tubing in the body) will immediately treat the financial and credit markets for SHOCK. Lenders, borrowers, buyers and sellers will once again be able to value the financial instruments and corporate entities in which they are interested.

The world will still be imperfect. But there will be time to relook our regulation of the markets and to rethink some of our "social engineering" run amuk. But we won't have done the very worst thing ------ nothing.

Call your Congresscritter and tell him Kernal Ken sent you. We only need 12 of those 23 votes to get this train back on the tracks...

2008-09-28T17:38:00.000-07:00

For Sparcam, other Lurkers, and Friends,

Several times over the past week I have been asked to explain the financial mess we are currently in, given my past experience on Wall Street. Here is my attempt to make it as simple as I can, not to talk down to you, but to recognize that much of what you hear on TV either makes no sense, is hopelessly filled with Wall Steet jargon, or has a distinct political bias to it.

First, this problem is very serious. The US economy does not run on cash; it runs on credit. Our annual Gross Domestic Product is over $13 Trillion (the value of all goods and services produced by the economy); the amount of cash and checking accounts funding that is only about $1.5 Trillion.

The difference is made up by banks lending to each other, lending to small businesses to make payroll and to farmers to buy seed and rent equipment, you and I willing to lend money to corporations in terms of buying bonds or buying into those corporations by purchasing their stock, etc. In other words, the free flow of credit is the backbone of our economy.

But, in order for the credit markets to work, the lender must be able to value the collateral put up by the borrower. That's where the now-famous sub-prime mortgages enter the picture - they cannot currently be valued by the market. How did this happen?

In 1977, the Carter Administration proposed the Community Reinvestment Act which became law. The purpose of the law was to get banks to make more loans to those on the lower end of the financial spectrum so that they too could enjoy the American Dream. Banks were pressured to create easier loans for those otherwise unqualified to get them. The old notions of 20% down, not more than 25% of your income going to housing, a sterling credit record, and even proof of income, employment and current low debt all started disappearing from the normal demands of mortgage lenders.

In 1993, the Clinton Administration wanted even more such loans to be issued, many with adjustable rates, interest only payments, other gimmicks and expectations of easy refinancing. Attoney General Janet Reno actually went on record threatening banks who declined to increase their portfolios of risky loans with refusals to allow mergers, increased regulation and DOJ investigations. One can only presume that the Democrats were especially interested in these loans because they were going to likely Democratic voters, including a large number of illegal immigrants.

In 1995, Republicans in Congress, to include John McCain, saw a danger in this lending process and proposed much more stringent regulation of banks lending practices. The bill never got out of committee, with complete Democratic opposition which they said, "would dry up affordable housing opportunities for millions of Americans."

To address the banks' growing concerns of the risk of the assets they held, Fannie Mae and Freddy Mac agreed to buy up their sub-prime mortgages. The more mortgages held by these Government Sponsored Enterprises (GSE) the more their profits - and bigger their bonuses.

The GSE's then "sliced and diced" these mortgages into a "fruit salad" of many mortgages and sold the salad packages as securities known as"Collateralized Debt Obligations" (CDO's). Those mortgage backed securities were bought in great quantities by pension funds, investment banks, commercial banks, foreign governments, and mutual funds, to name but a few investors. In each CDO there were good mortgages, mediocre mortgages and some real rotten ones, but - these were all backed by Freddy and Fannie, so the US Government stood behind them, right? Wrong.

The GSE's were chartered by Congress to provide mortgage lending, but their products were never insured by the "full faith and credit of the US", such as are Treasury bonds.

But home builders loved the program as much as the GSE's and Democrats. Everyone could now afford a home, even if they couldn't... And home prices were rising every year, so many looked upon house buying not just as a place to live, but as a quick road to easy riches. This led builders to build as fast as they could to take advantage of increased demand and higher prices.

This is now known as "the housing bubble." Soon, supply of homes exceeded demand, home prices began to fall and adjustable rate mortgages started adjusting. Many of those less affluent folks who had been talked into buying much more home than they could actually afford discovered that the value of their home had suddenly dropped below the amount of their mortgage. They were now "upside down" and defaulted on their loans.

The CDO securities spread throughout the economy were now deemed "toxic." The value of those fruit salad securities, the collateral which many put up to secure new lending, could no longer be valued. Credit began to dry up and the economy would soon grind to a halt unless those securities were removed from the system.

To think of it in simplest and gross terms, the lending markets became constipated and needed an enema fast, before the whole body shut down. Enter "The Loan Arranger", Hank Paulson, SEC TREAS, and his sidekick, Ben Tonto Bernanke, FED Chairman, with a proposal to have the Government buy up all the suspect CDO's to clear the system of that which could not be valued, then hold onto most of them, believing that most owners would continue to pay their mortgages, and the Government may eventually make most of its CDO outlay back.

But $700 BILLION isn't chump change, so the Congress has now jumped into the act to propose giving the Treasury one Milk of Magnesia tablet at a time, holding continuous hearings on how the credit market patient is doing, and claiming that they are watching out for the American taxpayer.

Problem is, if the credit markets don't get rid of the toxic mortgage CDO's quickly, then the markets will continue to parcel out needed continuous credit in little packets, a sure recipe for rapid economic slowdown, increased unemployment, further devaluation of the US dollar and lack of confidence that the US Government has the courage to take strong and immediate action. What is need is a "high colonic enema," not Congressionally administered Milk of Mag tablets one small dollar amount at a time.

So, was this all about greed? To a degree. There were the "needy greedy" who wanted more home than they could afford and wanted it now. There were the "politically greedy" who saw the chance to create a new government prograsm which would buy them votes and make the government more responsible for everything. There were the " lending greedy" whose purchase of suspect mortgages created more volume for them and bigger paychecks. There were the "building greedy" who slapped up houses like crazy and loved the increased demand and easy mortgages which made them rich. And there were the "Wall Street greedy" who trafficked in CDO's and even built "insurance derivatives" called "Credit Default Swaps" which were designed to insure investors against their CDO's going bad by swapping out part of their portfolio risk for other risks in different investment areas - all for a hefty price, of course. These were the demise of AIG, the world's largest insurance company.

So, there you have it. It's a big problem requiring a big solution, not tentative measures. But, knowing our Congress, they will never take any of the blame for the "failed social engineering" of the "affordable housing laws." Instead, they will administer small doses of medicine and wonder why the patient isn't getting better. And, of course, they will point their fingers at anyone except in the mirror.

Hope this makes some sense out of what is a very complex subject...

The Back Country

2008-09-27T13:01:00.000-07:00

Hi all,

I guess the title should actually be "Back From the Country."

The Queen and I recently travelled to Music City for a chance to visit with our friends Dan and Sandy McG.as well as to accomplish one of my cancer goals, to make it to the annual mini-reunion of the West Point Class of 1966. For those possibly not "in the know," Music City is sometimes known as Nashville.

First good deal of the trip was that we got to try out my new Acura TL on the highways of America. It got 30 miles to the gallon and accelerates like crazy compared to the Honda Accords that I have been driving for the last ten years. A very comfortable, quiet ride with all sorts of extra technology such as hands free devices and XM Satellite Radio, a trip computer, tire pressure indicators and a whole lot more. It was my birthday present.

Second good deal was to stay in Castle McG (last name omitted in honor of the Anderson Zoo who always reminds us about Personal Security). Theirs is a truly beautiful home of over 9000 square feet, four garages, two full kitchens, a theater, a wine cellar, an elevator and rooms/baths to house the better part of an Army battalion. Staying with them was like visiting with the real Queen in Windsor Castle.

Next treat was to reach my goal of hanging with my classmates around some great food and music as well as on the golf course. My two best friends from West Point, Jim D. and Mike F., made it to this reunion, both saying that they wanted to see how I was doing. Mike brought his wife, Mary, shown with the Queen below, while Jim's wife, Jeanette, an ordained minister, had other obligations and couldn't join us. Jim is the CEO of Action Ministries while Mike is the retired CEO of Sprint Local.

Golf with Dan was at the very exclusive Governor's Club, while Reunion golf was on a Tom Fazio course as well as a Jack Nicklaus signature course. All three places were what we golfers call "superb tracks." My golf game was less so, but I can still hit the ball, something that was in serious doubt before my neck surgery.

My classmates who set this reunion up did a wonderful job, renting the entire Country Music Hall of Fame for a catered dinner, getting a top Nashville song writer and background player for our entertainment and even a private concert by Vince Gill. We didn't pay all the freight for a lot of this, and the generosity of our local classmates underwrote much of the golf and entertainment expenses. These guys are Great Americans!

Sorry I've been absent for a while, but thought you might like to know where I've been.

High ground indeed! Thanks for your prayers and support.

One Year Closer To The Grave, Think Of All The Food We'll Save!

2008-09-05T20:20:00.000-07:00

(I'll leave it up to you to explain to your dear readers about this title.)

Dear Daddy,

Hey there big guy! There are so many things I love about you, that I could start my own little blog about it called:

"My Dad Is Above Average In More Than Five Billion Ways".

You and I would enjoy that, but other people might tire of me telling you how truly fabulous you are day in and day out. So instead of doing that, I'm hacking into your blog to tell you just a few things I love about you, with supporting photographic evidence. (If you read this every day, it will be like I'd done that blog thing I mentioned above.)

Aren't you ADORABLE in this little jumpsuit snuggled up next to your mom?! What a good boy you were for staying right by her for the picture and letting her protect you from falling with her arm. You have protected me my entire life in various ways, and for that, I love you.

Hey there Lady Killer! Even though you look super serious in this picture, I am imagining that your hand we can't see is pinching this nice girl in the tush to get her to smile. (You would NEVER . . . ) My point is, I just love your wacky sense of humor! I love how we'll all hang on the edge of our seats to hear you deliver the punch line of a joke - even when it's no good - because you're so good at it. You make me laugh and sometimes that is just what I need.

I see in this young (handsome!) cadet, the face of a man who is dedicated to serving his country and fellowmen and who isn't afraid to work hard to reach a goal. You have given me a great pride in our country, our Armed Forces and the military heritage that is a part of our family as well as taught me the value of work and I love you for that, too.
I love the smile you wear in this picture. It makes me think of your friendly, outgoing nature. This is the look I love to see on your face. This is the smile you have when we talk with one another and share stories and it makes me feel so loved because I know you are listening.

Here you are with my beautiful mom. When I saw this picture again, I cried, because it reminded me of you suffering through something really hard. And even though I hated every minute of it, I can see now that it has made us closer. I have a new and greater respect for you and I love you even more after it than I did before.

So, dearest Daddy, I just wanted to wish you the happiest of birthdays and tell you how very grateful I am to have had yet another year with you. And I need to let you know I am counting on many, many more.

Love,

Samantha

Twofer

2008-08-31T12:06:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone,

It's not often that you can get a twofer, that is two fer the price of one. That is, except when Billy Mays screams into your TV and offers to send you not just 25 but 50 of the whatever he's selling that day... But here's a real twofer.

PETA, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, has decided that is no longer satisfactory for the Guards regiment at Buckingham Palace, London, to wear the same bearskin hats they have worn since Wellington beat Napoleon's French Imperial Guards at the 1815 Battle of Waterloo.

Robbie LeBlance, spokeman for PETA, says that their campaign against the traditional black bearskin hats, "is hugely significant for our campaign to save North American bears." At their upcoming meeting with Baroness Taylor, the Minister for Defense Procurement, LeBlanc states, "If she has a heart and can see the PR nightmare of the MoD continuing to support the Canadian bear slaughter, she can wield her influence and push the MoD to scrap the bearskin caps sooner rather than later."

It should be noted that 50-100 new bearskin caps are needed each year and it takes one bear's skin to make one cap. There are an estimated 600,000 black bears living in North America, a number thought to have fallen from two million. How the two million estimate was produced is questionable. Perhaps the bears were asked...

Now the good part of the twofer. Governor Sarah Palin of Alaska and the state legislature are appealing the Department of Interior's declaration that Polar Bears are a threatened species, deserving extra protection. In fact, Governor Palin, the DELIGHTFUL new VP running mate for John McCain, has pointed out that polar bears represent a direct threat to the human population living near their habitat, which is the North Slope of her state.

In Alaska, PETA means People for the Ethical Treatment of Alaskans, in this case allowing them to protect themselves from the largest predator on land. Alaska wants the Interior Department to lift the limits on killing predatory polar bears which threaten humans.

Who, me?

So here's the deal: we support PETA England in their desire to cease using black bears for the traditional bearskin hats and we switch to polar bear fur, thus supporting the Alaskan PETA. Besides, since the polar bear is about three times as large as the black bear, we only need to use the skins of 16 - 33 polar bears each year, vice the 50 - 100 black bears. It's a win -win!

This politics of compromise stuff is easier than it looks. Try to find you own twofer, and propose it to our ever-vigilant Congress, whose latest approval rating has peaked at 9 %.

Berlin and Georgia

2008-08-16T10:57:00.000-07:00

Dear Readers,

I am today officially announcing that I will no longer commit to posting on this blog every Friday. However, I will also commit to not dropping off the face of the earth, as some of my blogging friends have done recently.

I do have something to say today concerning last Wednesday, 13 August. On that day, 47 years ago, the Communists erected the Wall in Berlin, splitting families who were apart that day and destroying the economy of half of one of the world's great cities.

In the summer of 1964, a West Point classmate and I visited Berlin after our summer duties with US Troops in Germany. With the Wall only three years old, and still quite crude, we sat at an outdoor cafe and watched an elderly woman on the street corner look at her watch and look through binoculars, across the Wall. Soon, an elderly man, several blocks into East Berlin, leaned out of his window, with binoculars, and waved at his wife. The meaning of Freedom has never been made clearer to me.

When I arrived in Berlin as a new second lieutenant in December 1966, I again visited the Wall and wrote the following poem, published in the Berlin Observer, the local command newspaper, and picked up in most of the Berlin press.

"Freedom's Outpost" is its name

And concrete blocks its living shame

But yet this half stands tall.

For here have many people died

While trying to regain hope and pride

By traversing the Wall.

The enemy has tried to prove

A city cannot live by love

From those in Freedom's lands.

And so they halted trucks and trains,

But Liberty relied on planes -

And Free Berlin still stands.

The other side's a different place

Where sentry dogs walk silent pace

Among the towers and wire.

Where escapees are shot on sight,

And yet they try, both day and night,

Rekindling Freedom's fire.

So we who guard the precious light

Commit ourselves to keep it bright,

Remembering those who fall;

For someday this will no more be

The city split by tyranny,

The city with a Wall...

The Wall came down on 9 November 1989, as many of you remember. But it had been a tough and bloody 28 years for the people of Berlin.

In 1994, when President Clinton retired the Berlin Brigade colors, I was in London, retired from the military for two years and working as an investment banker. The Army tracked me down, and the Berlin Observer asked if my poem of 28 years earlier could be read at the ceremony. Although I could not attend the ceremony, I was honored to consent.

Today, the Russians are back at their old tricks again, claiming "breakaway provinces" never actually belonged to the little country of Georgia in the first place. Can it be long before they once again start building walls?

Another Missed Post...

2008-08-12T14:09:00.000-07:00

Dear Readers,

Yes, I have once again missed my usual Friday posting date and have heard from several of you about just that event. Here are the lame excuses.

First, unlike all the women in my family, I have NOT been reading the book shown above. As far as I have been able to figure out, Stephanie Meyer is a female astronomer whose first three books (Twilight, New Moon and Eclipse) concerned her educational love of the universe and how celestial things work. Then, for reasons unknown to me, she altered her book style on the heavens to write her latest, Breaking Down, which apparently deals with either automotive problems or is her attempt to enter the world of psychiatry in which her credentials are suspect.

In either case, she once again has tried to cause all productivity to cease in my home as shown below. However, Ms. Meyer has failed this time because her book was released just in time for the Huge, Unscheduled, Best -Ever, Carlson Family Reunion! Well, most of the Reunion was previously scheduled, but parts were not scheduled until the last possible minute... This is an inside joke.

At any rate, we had all the kids in one place at one time for the first time in years! And, when the Reunion ended at Hershey Park in Pennsylvania, we managed to get this picture of most of the grandkids and the proud Papa and Granny.

High Ground, indeed!

Happy, happy, happy, happy, happy...

2008-07-31T13:47:00.000-07:00

Does anybody know a word

That sort of rhymes with "quint?"

In English, is there such a word?

If so, please give a hint.

'Cause we all want to celebrate

The birthday of the Five;

So rhyming "quint" is needed

And a goal for which to strive.

If such a rhyme is possible,

Perhaps we'll have to squint,

And search through scads of volumes

For a word that sounds like "quint."

Or have a steel trap-like mind

Or knowledge sharp as flint;

Else wise it is impossible

To rhyme a word with "quint."

So happy birthday, ALL of you,

Each one of you a "quint."

We hope you get a bunch of gifts

And loot that fills the Mint!

Your Faithful Super Hero,

Kernal "Batman" Ken

Verizon on the Horizon

2008-07-25T12:00:00.001-07:00

Well, today is my day to "out" Verizon. This will be progress for me.

You see, here in beautiful downtown Brambleton, we are an "all Verizon Community." All of our phone service, TV and computer hookups come through Verizon FIOS, their fiber-optic network that comes to each house, and here in Brambleton, to each room of the house. We have been called "the most wired community in America." It's lightning fast and usually very reliable... But not this week.

On Wednesday, I called our "special Verizon Reps here in Brambleton," the ones who are to provide us with "concierge service" since the whole community has opted for Verizon FIOS. I wanted to upgrade my cable box to HD so that I could see every bead of sweat at the Olympics coming up.

"No problem, Mr. Carlson. We'll have someone out tomorrow between 1 and 5 to exchange boxes and set up your new high definition service." Great.

Come 6PM yesterday, no cable guy from Verizon. One ringy dingy... "Oh, thank you for your call. Just a moment while I check on that work order number." 10 minutes pass.

"I've found the problem, Mr. Carlson. Let me connect you with a dispatcher who will verify a time tomorrow morning to have a tech visit your house." 5 minutes pass. "Hello, this is Bonnie with Verizon. How may I help you?"

Well, Bonnie, what time tomorrow will I receive my new box? "Mr. Carlson, I have no idea what you're talking about. May I have you phone number and the amount of your last bill?" Bonnie was apparently the default pickup when I was otherwise cut off. Start back at square one with Bonnie and, no, I don't recall the amount of my last bill.

"No problem, Mr. Carlson, I'll have a dispatcher call you in the morning with your appointment time."

One PM today. One ringy dingy. Hey, Verizon, no one has called as promised on this work order number. "Let me check on that, Mr. Carlson, and thank you for copying down that number - it will make this go much faster."

15 minutes pass.

"Are you still there, Mr. Carlson?" Yep, but I wouldn't be if it weren't for speakerphones. "We'll have this done in just a moment. Thank you for your patience."

Five minutes pass. "Hello, this is Bonnie with Verizon. How may I help you?" Bonnie, this is Mr. Carlson, amazingly the same guy you promised last night that I would get a call this morning. Remember? "I'm sorry , sir, I wasn't here last night. You must have gotten another Bonnie." Start back at Square One with Bonnie #2.

"Mr. Carlson, we are tracking that order # that you gave. But let me give you a special number to call for our valued customers in Brambleton." I think I've already done that, Bonnie #2, but go ahead. And I get a new number, not the one Verizon had provided before for our Brambleton "concierge service."

One ringy dingy. " Mr. Carlson, we've checked your work order number but it is not in the system." Why not, I asked, since for the last two days everyone has been referring to the same number?

"Well, it appears that our system for new orders and order upgrades is down." And how long has that been the case? "Sir, it's been down for over a week, but we're working overtime to fix it."

So, all these people at Verizon who have been promising me that I would shortly receive a call as to the appointment time??? "Sir, I don't know how that could happen, since we haven't been able to process orders for the last eight days. Just a moment, let me check one thing..."

Five minutes pass. "Hello, this is Bonnie with Verizon. How may I help you..." Agggggggh!

I need some high ground to send smoke signals to Verizon. The stuff burning is my hair...

Kirtland, K&V and Kooks

2008-07-17T13:53:00.000-07:00

Thanks for giving me a week off from blogging duties. Last weekend allowed me to escape the area for the first time since last November. Getting away with the Queen was good for both of us, and I certainly felt more like a person than a patient, which, as Martha would say, is a good thing.

We drove West at a leisurely pace to Kirtland, Ohio, near Cleveland on Lake Erie. It is a place that the Queen has long wanted to visit, since a significant chunk of history from her faith, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, occurred there. The Mormons left Palmyra , New York in the early 1830's and were directed to Ohio by divine inspiration. In Kirtland they built a thriving community and their first temple, which was dedicated by the Prophet Joseph Smith in 1836.

Smith had no engineering training yet produced plans and blueprints for the temple which was built of wood, stones and stucco, yet stands today. As an engineer, I found it to be a pretty remarkable piece of work.

At the temple dedication, many witnesses saw the appearance of heavenly personages and felt their temple had been approved by God.

And, as many of you can probably tell, I'm way over my head in Mormon theology, so I'll just continue with the history. By 1838, over 2000 Church members called Kirtland home, but lawsuits and the failure of the Kirtland Bank caused serious community discord and the Mormons were threatened until they agreed to leave.

Within a year, only 100 remained.

The rest of the LDS community began their movement westward, first to Northern Missouri, a state where the governor declared it legal to kill them on sight, and then to Nauvoo, Illinois where they established a city larger than Chicago. Eventually, Joseph Smith and his brother were assassinated in the Carthage, Illinois jail and the Mormons were again driven out, this time led by Brigham Young. After much hardship, they arrived in the Salt Lake Valley, where they made the desert bloom like a rose and the Olympics succeed in 2002.

So, after taking care of me for seven months, the Queen deserved a chance to see some of her heritage and I enjoyed it as well. We even met some LDS missionaries who are from the same congregation in Saint George, Utah as the Queen's brother and sister-in-law.

And, we got the chance to see other neat stuff in northern Ohio, including flea markets and the really quaint town of Gambier which is home to Kenyon College, a small liberal arts school whose campus looks like a movie set from the 1930's. Great fun!

On a lighter note, on the way back to D.C. I was very concerned as we saw our first set of large scale wind turbines. In one case, there were eight of them on Pennsylvania hilltops, in another set there were 13. So why the concern?

Wake up, folks! The earth turns clockwise, right? That's why the sun comes up in the East and the weather patterns generally come from the West. So, if all these new giant wind turbines are facing West (and they are), the turbine blades must be doing more than just spinning electricity - they must also be producing a propeller-like force which is, depending on how the blades are configured, either pushing the Earth to turn faster in a clockwise direction or, alternatively, causing the earth's rotation to slow.

With enough wind turbines facing West, will will eventually spin the globe so fast that days and nights will be only a few hours long OR we will bring the globe to a halt. In the latter case, you don't want to be either on the dark or the light side, one of which will freeze and the other turn to desert.

Another example of the Law of Unanticipated Consequences! And, the turbines will eventually take up all the high ground,meaning there's no where for us to go while trying to escape the polar bears!

Get to the high ground quickly, before it is all filled with wind turbines. I'll see you there.

July 3d

2008-07-08T10:19:00.000-07:00

I swear I must be the only blogger on the planet who gets harassed by his readers if not exactly on schedule each week. Some folks must set their sun dials by me, it seems.

Well, I was busy on Friday - remember it was Independence Day. We had a Chris Lee All Star baseball game and dinner at Spy Mommy's, followed by Leesburg fireworks which were great. And Saturday, I got roped into doing the VA side of the Carlson War Memorials Tour, so I was pretty whipped when I got home.

So, today I am going to rewind the clock and talk about the

3rd of July, another day we Carlsons celebrate.

On 3 July 1967, Miss Victoria Nelson agreed to go on a date with me for the first time.

She and her boyfriend had recently broken off and my girlfriend had gone home with her parents, so both of us were unattached in Berlin, at the height of the Cold War.

I asked if she would like to join me for dinner at the French Officer's Club, where I would demonstrate my French language proficiency and my general savoir faire.

She accepted.

Unfortunately, I had failed to check with the French to see if their club was open that evening, which it was not. So much for savoir faire...

Well, we were stuck in the French Sector of Berlin,so we went

to the French Volksfest, a bit overdressed,

but what the heck. We had a great time, and I even spoke a little French. And that was 41 years ago, last Thursday.

We got engaged in Hawaii in 1969, while I was on R&R from Vietnam and were married in December of that year at Fort Douglas, Utah.

And it's been a wild ride ever since.

Special prayers this week for my dear

friend, LadyJosh, who has contracted breast cancer after successfully having fought renal cancer several years ago. You can follow her story at http://jeansgreenandpinkribbons.blogspot.com. She is a nurse and former police detective, so be prepared for the truth about cancer, not the pablum I have fed you as I have become a Leatherneck.

Next week, the Queen and I are taking a weekend trip to Kirtland, Ohio to check out some Mormon historical sites. So, no blog from me this Friday.

Jean and friends, I'll see you on the high ground!

Legacy

2008-06-29T08:09:00.000-07:00

It's only Sunday and already several of my readers have reminded me that my normal Friday/Saturday post is late! I suppose I should be honored that some need their fix of Kernal Ken on time, although I'm sure most can live without my weekly rant for a day or two. There is a reason for this week's delay.

Tomorrow, 30 June 2008, is a special day for our family. It has to do with the legacy that has been left for us.

First, the Queen Vee and Compound Eye of a Dragonfly will represent us at the funeral of Victor J. Nelson. With most of his family at his bedside, Victor, 90 years old, graduated with honors from this life on Thursday, 26 June and went home to live with our Heavenly Father.

A Utah State graduate with a degree in zoology, a World War II Navy veteran, a master builder and craftsman as well as teacher in the building trades, and a 27 year member of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, Victor's greatest accomplishments were in the lessons of life, of love and of kindness he left for his children and grandchildren.

And here is the impact. Victor leaves behind seven children, two step-children, 35 grandchildren and 78 great grandchildren. That's 122 people who know PERSONALLY of the skills, the character, the faith and the kindness of this one man, and countless more who will hear his story in years to come. Well done, Dad, extremely well done...

Monday, 30 June is also a special day on my side of the family. It is the 100th birthday of my Mom, Helen Mabel Christine Johnson Carlson.

Known as Moline, Illinois' "Fastest Woman" (for the right reasons), she was a track standout in high school and at The Chicago Normal School of Physical Education, where she earned her teaching degree and lots of championship trophies.

Her wedding to 2LT Gunnar Carlson was covered by cub radio reporter (later President) Ronald Reagan, but the glamour of a military wedding was quickly eclipsed by the cold of Northern Wisconsin where her husband commanded a CCC Camp, the scorpions and floods of Panama, the continuous moving in the pre-war Army and her husband's departure for the war in the Pacific.

May brought her two sons to occupied Japan on the first ship to carry "MacArthur's Pioneers." Later, she and I travelled to South Vietnam to join my Dad who was one of 85 Americans in that country in the mid 1950's. With my brother and I both returning during the war, the Carlsons are one of the very few who can say that the entire family, Mom included, served in Vietnam.

An inspirational, devoted mother and a loving, generous grandmother, May passed her earthly test and peacefully departed in 2001 at age 93. Her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren, although not as numerous as those of Victor Nelson, have been left with her inspiring story and example of duty, sacrifice and love of Country. Her life, as that of Victor, will remain legend. Well done, Mom, and Happy Birthday!

And as for you anxious readers, I'll see you on the high ground!

We Interrupt This Program...

2008-06-21T10:43:00.002-07:00

Hi, there! No guest blogger this week, just your regular Kernal Ken.

Things, as usual, are hectic around here.

Brother-in-law, Kirk Nelson, visited this past week for two days. I asked him when was the last time he was here and he reminded me that it was last Fall. Well, I told him, not much has changed since then, given the title of this post, "We interrupt this program..."

I got my "interruption" in mid-November. Ever since then, my program has been interrupted by cancer. Even the interruptions are interrupted, such as "you might not have to have the neck dissection...we interrupt this thought to bring you the following truth - they are going to cut you open anyway..."

You've seen the scar and the staples, which are now out, and I am starting to recover from the surgery which interrupted my recovery from the radiation and chemo. Thankfully, every thing is clean - so far.

Next we had the funny blog interruption where The Digital Architect demonstrated our previous lack of a discussion on sex by likening his own preferences to those of his three month old daughter. What a hoot!

Then , on Thursday, the Queen Vee got the sad news that her Dad is deteriorating rapidly, so our program was interrupted by her departure this AM for Salt Lake City where she will be for some indeterminate period.

I think the message in all this is that John Lennon was right:

"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."

Perhaps equally to the point is the saying of the noted Japanese warrior, T. Sakurai:

"In the moment of victory, tighten your helmet strap..."

There are more "interruptions" ahead for all of us. I hope all yours are good ones.

I'll see you on the high ground!

Who's Your Daddy?

2008-06-15T04:44:00.001-07:00

I (The Queen Vee) am sneaking onto Ken's blog today to wish him Happy Father's Day. Of course he's not my daddy, that would be Victor Nelson, but he is the the daddy of my children.

So Ken, thank you for being my partner in parenting. Your children are blessed to have you for their dad. Like all good fathers, you have carried the responsibility of fathering on your broad shoulders now for over 36 years and you have done it exceedingly well.

Yes, once you were younger and could hold two kids on your shoulders.

Then those kids grew up and soon you found yourself standing with them shoulder to shoulder.

Now they stand with you en masse, fathers themselves, pushing shoulder to shoulder marking the goal for their families. (What cute guys!)

So today I honor you and I honor our sons for taking on this mantle of fatherhood. There are no perfect fathers, just as there are no perfect mothers, but I think you guys are all up there at the very top of the fatherhood pyramid.

This young, good looking man is my father who is now well into his 90th year. Last week he went into hospice care as he is getting ready to graduate and take the big journey. I love him and I honor him this day. His posterity is now over 80 plus direct descendants. The influence my father has had can now be seen in my grandchildren. That's the impact a good dad can have. If you would like to know my father better you can check out my sister's blog where she has posted a fitting and perfect tribute to a man who sang in the Mormon Tabernacle Choir for 25 years.

Happy Father's day to all these special men in my life. I'm fortunate to be on the high ground with these guys.

It's Only A Flesh Wound!

2008-06-13T18:46:00.000-07:00

Guest blogger the Queen Vee here (Ken is recuperating and will add more to this post later, so stay tuned)!

What would a cancer blog be without a good gory picture every now and again? This is a shot of Ken's neck post-surgery. We are now affectionately calling him "Frankeneck". For those of us who are related to him, it's "Frankenken", "Frankendaddy" or "Frankenpapa".

I'm having flashbacks to the 5oo carpet staples I removed by hand from the staircase in our entry foyer last year. I've been assured it will be much easier to get Ken's staples out next Tuesday.

The surgery and pathology results were completely terrific! Dr. Markwell the ENT surgeon over Ken's case decided to try for a "Super Selective Neck Dissection" rather than the "Radical Neck Dissection" which had been originally planned. The "Super Selective" route, if successful, would keep Ken from losing neck mobility and more importantly, allow him to still play golf. The doctors feared the treated lymph node would be difficult to find, but as soon as they opened the neck, it "popped right up" (their words). This miracle prevented damage to the trapezius (sp?) nerve in the neck. Other lymph packets were removed with no difficulty due to ease of access - which was a surprise to the doctors. The best news of all is that post-surgery pathology reports show all tissue is free of cancer.

Dr. Markwell feels that Ken's successful response to all the treatments and the positive outcome of his surgery have greatly increased his cure rate. There is no doubt in our minds that the prayers of so many people worked together to help bring us this miracle. We are so grateful.

As you can imagine, we are all doing a big happy dance out here in Virginia! Won't you join along?

Kernal ken here now folks. Just wanted to add thanks to the Queen and Samantha for filling you in on the details of this week's happenings. I really didn't know much about what happened because most if it was told to me while I was still halfway home from Lala land.

Special thanks this week to my great surgeons, both of whom have some sort of connection to Staples. I stopped by on the way home to see if the local store needed a poster child, but all I got was a grimace and a not very pleasant "Eeeeww, ugh."

I also want to thank the folks on NNMC Surgical Ward 5East. Navy Ensign K. McDonald, and Army SP4s T. Patton and M. Buckley were extremely competent nurses who had great senses of humor. Patton served in Iraq as a medic with the 101st Airborne and Buckley was an Army MP who served with the 1st Marine Division during the horrorific battle of Fallujah several years ago. Hearing their war stories and sharing a few of my own was an inspiration for me and the best form of healing. These young people are very special Americans who will be the future leaders of this Country. I am thankful for their care and help in my case and for their service to our Nation.

The high ground is getting closer. I'll see you there!

D is for Dunce and for D-Day

2008-06-06T08:54:00.000-07:00

Last post,

"Knock 'em dead?"

I was toast;

Few read.

Lesson learned,

Be concise;

Elsewise spurned -

Not nice...

Keep it brief,

Make it charming.

Bears bring grief

And so does warming.

In a rut

Come Monday;

My neck cut.

Please pray.

With relief

To reach high ground

I'll be real brief

Next time around.

Today is also the 64th anniversary of the D-Day Normandy Invasion.

While Omaha Beach rightly receives most attention due to casualties, the Rangers at Pointe du Hoc achieved a feat of arms almost unparalleled in military history.

Of the 225 members of the 2d Ranger Battalion who, under fire with grenades dropping on them from above, scaled the 100 foot high cliffs between Omaha and Utah Beaches, only 50 remained fit to fight two days later.

Although the coastal guns they sought were not in the fortifications on the cliffs, the Rangers found and destroyed the guns, thus completing their mission.

High Ground. The Greatest Generation, indeed.

The Law of Unintended Consequences

2008-05-31T18:20:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry that this post is not on my normal Friday schedule, but there were circumstances beyond my control.

My neighbor was having a sprinkler system installed in his yard, when the company doing the work cut my FIOS cable.

Verizon had been out to mark the cable locations, but only marked his and not mine which also runs through his yard.

The workers all agreed in Spanish that they would just tie my cable back together and rebury it. When I noted that the cables were all fiber optics and probably wouldn't work simply tied together, we all agreed that Verizon needed to be called.

They'll be here tomorrow, maybe... In the meantime, I have tapped into my neighbor's wireless network which is close enough that I can get pretty good reception. So, better late than never!

This week I want to write about polar bears. Cancer can wait...

When we lived in Heidelberg, young Matt (30 years old tomorrow!) insisted that, since I had earlier taken his older brother and sister to the circus, he deserved to go as well. So, he and I went to Circus Krone. One of the circus rings had a cage around it and was dedicated to the wild animals and their trainers. They had lions, tigers, bears, leopards, a panther, and other assorted critters. All were in the cage at once with a trainer or two, but then all were led out together.

Why? Because the single Circus Krone polar bear was going to enter the ring. The announcer told us that the other animals had to leave because the one polar bear would likely kill them all and begin eating them before we could react. Wow! When the one polar bear entered the cage, his trainer stayed outside. The bear was at least twice the size of any other animal except the elephants and it was actively trying to break down the walls of the cage to come out and eat all of us. The small children were terrified. I have never seen such a vicious creature.

Fast forward to 17 May 2008, when, under pressure to make an immediate decision by a Federal judge, the Interior Department declared the polar bear to be "threatened," the first step enroute to becoming an "endangered species."

It seems that most agree that the sea ice floating around in the Arctic Ocean is diminishing faster than usual and that polar bears need the sea ice to float out to where the seals are that make up breakfast, lunch and dinner.

No argument that the ice is melting - but lots of argument as to why and to the degree that humans are the cause of this latest example of the dreaded "global warming."

Those who argue that human production of CO2 is the cause carefully ignore several pertinent facts:

1. Although CO2 is a human produced greenhouse gas, by far the largest amount of CO2 comes from volcanic eruptions in and around the Pacific rim.

2. Even more to the point, the single largest greenhouse gas contributor to global warming is water vapor, H2O, which accounts for more than 99% of the greenhouse gasses in the atmosphere. Humans produce almost no water vapor; God has provided it in the form of clouds.

If ALL, repeat ALL, human production of CO2 were to cease, that would produce a reduction of 0.117 % of greenhouse gasses. That 1/8 of one percent reduction of greenhouse gas in the atmosphere would have NO MEASURABLE IMPACT on the temperature of the Earth or its atmosphere, but it would have AN ENORMOUS IMPACT on the economies of every nation on the planet. Economic growth and the development of Third and Fourth world countries would essentially cease, while developed economies could not turn to clean nuclear energy immediately, or EVER if the Al Gore crowd and the eco-fascists have their way.

3. Finally, it is "an inconvenient truth" for the greenie crowd to note that, while Arctic ice may be receding, Antarctic ice packs are actually growing! To admit this might open the argument to the fact that the Earth periodically "wobbles" on its axis, placing one pole or the other closer to the Sun. Since the Earth's orbit around the Sun is elliptical, not circular, it would also be "inconvenient" to note that sometimes the Earth is warmer than other times and that the Sun does not burn at a constant temperature. Earth's orbital mechanics and Solar activity are widely agreed to have much more impact on our planet's temperature that all of the greenhouse gasses, to include the 1/8 of one percent of CO2 that we produce.

Back to the polar bears. Despite the loss of some of their ice, they are not drowning. Polar bears can swim for more than 50 miles at a time. The very few polar bears found dead in Arctic waters have been hit by passing vessels, and big ones at that. Smaller vessels would have been attacked by the bears who have no fear of humans.

The polar bear is the single largest predator on land. Adult males weigh from 775 to more than 1500 pounds, and average between 8-10 feet in length. They hunt by stealth, using their natural camouflage. No human being not armed with a high powered rifle has ever survived an encounter with a polar bear. Below is a picture of polar bears trying to figure out how to come aboard the USS Honolulu, a nuclear submarine, since they can smell the fact that some sort of food is perhaps inside...

Two years ago, an Eskimo hunting guide spotted an unusual bear while with his party. The animal was killed and discovered to be grizzly-polar bear hybrid. Very unusual, since polar bears usually kill and eat grizzlies whenever they meet. But evidence that polar bears can come away from the Arctic ice when they perceive a need. Lately, some Eskimo communities have reported unusual sightings of polar bears near their garbage collection areas and whaling factories. They have asked for permission to increase the number of polar bears they can kill to protect their own population.

There are 19 known polar bear sub-populations totally over 25,000 estimated bears. Of those populations, five are declining, five are stable, two are increasing and seven have insufficient data. The polar bears in North America are among the stable and increasing populations. With over 25,000 estimated bears, the polar bear has become the first critter ever to become "threatened" while being part of such a large number.

So, should we be concerned? You bet! But not for the polar bear... for HUMANS who may come into contact with polar bears who have decided to head south for the summer, winter or whatever season. By declaring polar bears "threatened," the number who may be killed by legitimate hunters must decrease. But, perhaps even worse, any business in the United States that wants to build a new factory, in any state, will be subject to lawsuits by the envirocrazy crowd which will claim that human creation of additional CO2 will drive the polar bear from "threatened" to "endangered." Doesn't matter where you live or work, polar bears - which are slowly moving south to devour you and yours - will become the ecological albatross around your neck to protect. That 1/8th of one percent of human produced CO2 has got be reduced! Prince Charles and Al Gore insist! No matter that 35,000 US scientists, many with PhDs and all with degrees in the sciences, not in politics, have signed a petition stating that the science of "global warming" is not "settled" as has been asserted.

Well, we reintroduced the wolves in Yellowstone and now the coyotes and cougars are heading east to escape. We now have coyotes in Virginia for the first time since Daniel Boone crossed the Blue Ridge Mountains! A cougar was shot last week in downtown Chicago.

The polar bears, yet another example of the law of Unintended Consequences, will soon be headed your way as well. And they won't have bright holiday scarves around their necks and be drinking Coke...

Get to the high ground! I'll see you there...

Each Day Is Precious - Live It Fully!

2008-05-23T10:29:00.000-07:00

One of the things that having cancer does for you is to make you very aware of how fragile life is and how quickly things can change. Experts call it "the Damocles Syndrome." You'll have to Google the story of the sword of Damocles to fully appreciate that title.

Last year's Thanksgiving was great, but by the time Christmas rolled around, there was a serious question as to how long I had to live. Although all the tests and scans thus far are positive, that existential question has yet to be resolved. The same, but in a much more urgent sense, for Senator Ted Kennedy, diagnosed this week with a malignant brain tumor. His life expectations range from months to a few years. I was glad to see that he returned to Hyannis Port and went sailing with his family. A weaker person would have withdrawn in depression, anger, and sorrow.

Or take, for example, the destitute people of Burma, hit by Cyclone Nargis in the past two weeks. One day, they were barely subsisting under the cruel hand of a military thugocracy; the next, what little they had was wiped out by wind and flooding. The junta reports 133,000 dead or missing at this point, but given their penchant for secrecy, the total is likely much higher. They also report 2.5 million homeless. And yet they refuse to allow the U.S. Navy ships off their coast to fly in food, medicine and temporary shelter. Appalling is too weak a term for their behavior towards their own people.

Then there is China, set for a splendid August Olympics, only to become the victim of a massive earthquake in Sichuan Province. The Chinese government behavior is miles ahead of the Burmese, but they too are having difficulty accepting help from other nations when the Party is supposed to be all that the Chinese People need.

Latest figures from China are 55,239 dead found so far, more than 29,000 missing, over 288,000 injured and at least 5 Million homeless. There is no history of philanthropy in China, so donations from outside are seen as somewhat alien.

And finally, there is the family of our nephew and niece, Phil and Lori Zenger and their four children, who live in Windsor, Colorado. Today, they were set to depart on their first real vacation, driving the three oldest children to Disneyland for their initial visit, while Grandma Linda watched 18 month old Matthew. The only problem was that yesterday came before today.

Look back at the weather map at the top of this post. The junction of those two fronts is Windsor. As you may have heard, a category F3 tornado hit Windsor yesterday, shortly after noon. Phil was working in the basement of their ranch-style home and the baby was on the main floor, taking a nap. When Phil heard loud noise, he went upstairs to find winds of 150+ MPH and golfball-sized hail at his doorstep. As he grabbed the baby and raced back into the basement, his home was being systematically crushed by the force of the tornado. Phil and the baby sought shelter in an interior room, with Phil on his knees, praying that it not be his or the baby's time to die. They survived without injury. Other family members were safe in school or out of the neighborhood.

After the huge tornado passed, Phil went out into the street to find his house with no roof, his windows all blown out, his vehicles crushed by parts of the collapsed house and his neighborhood destroyed. They have been evacuated from the area and will not be allowed back in until sometime Saturday, when they will begin the task of sorting through the wreckage to find what is salvageable and what has "gone with the wind" or been made unusable by crushing, hail and water. Family, to include Zengers, Carlsons, Wilkinsons and Nelsons, along with Church members will help, once allowed into the area. Below is a picture from the neighborhood.

We intend to help in other ways as well. For example, we are determined that Phil, Lori and family should be able to take that vacation to Disneyland sometime this year. And rather than have to drive two days either way, we intend to fly them there and get them a rental car. Those kids deserve to see the Mouse after all they will go though...

So, dear readers, every single day of your life is precious and needs to be lived to the fullest. I am reminded of a few selected verses from the poem by the 18th Century English poet, William Cowper:

God moves in a mysterious way

His wonders to perform;

He plants His footsteps in the sea,

And rides upon the storm.

Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take,

The clouds ye so much dread

Are big with mercy, and shall break

In blessings on your head.

Judge not the Lord by feeble sense,

But trust Him for His grace;

Behind a frowning providence

He hides a smiling face.

His purposes will ripen fast,

Unfolding every hour;

The bud may have a bitter taste,

But sweet will be the flower.

Blind unbelief is sure to err,

And scan His work in vain;

God is His own interpreter,

And he will make it plain.

Please offer a prayer for all those whose need is great at this time.

I'll see you on the high ground!

Mostly Normal

2008-05-16T16:58:00.000-07:00

I asked the Queen Vee what I should post this week, since there wasn't much happening. That, she said, is what you should tell your readers - much of your life is beginning to return to normal. It's true.

Without the PEG sticking out of my stomach, I can now dress normally and twist my torso from side to side without fear of damage. I am taking in all nourishment now by mouth, but am still somewhat limited in what I can eat. My throat is still quite sore, so soft foods and cold foods are best for me. Spicy things and stuff that requires a lot of chewing are still off limits.

With no PICC Line from my left tricep into my heart, I can now bathe without having to wrap my arm in plastic bags, and we no longer have to clean the exposed end of the line twice a day. I also no longer have to go to NNMC each Monday to have the dressing around the PICC line changed.

With the alien tubes no longer coming out of my body, I made the decision to return to our health club for the first time since before Christmas. I have lost about 40 pounds over the course of cancer therapy, most of it muscle mass as well as from my rear end as described earlier. It felt really good to begin to use the many machines at Fitness First, although I knew that I had to start with about half the weight that I used to use. As Chairman Mao once said, "Every journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." This week I took that step with visits to the club on Saturday, Tuesday and Thursday.

Thanks to the Queen, my weight is remaining pretty stable. The docs would like to have me gain some weight before the 9 June neck surgery, so we're working on that. They don't want me to go back on Coumadin until after that surgery, since it takes time to keep the blood thinner properties working. Therefore, I still have to inject myself twice each day in the stomach with Lovenox, another blood thinner with less volatility than Coumadin. I will be happy when I no longer have to self-inject and I have new found empathy and respect for all those diabetics who have been giving themselves insulin shots daily.

Without having to use the heavy-duty pain killers any longer, I am now able to drive myself around to run errands and go shopping. That was particularly important when I had to buy some new trousers, to replace those whose four inch wider waistline were falling off of me. Despite the weight loss, trust me when I tell you this is not the type of diet you want to try...

So, things here have begun to settle back into some sort of new normal. And, as Martha would say, "That's a good thing."

Thanks to the all of you who have written to say how pleased you are with my progress and that your prayers remain with me and my family. The odds are still 69-31% that throat and neck cancer will return within the five year waiting period, so I need all the help I can get.

But you know, the weather forecast around here often says 70% chance of showers. I read that as 30% chance that the golf game is still on. Someplace has to get the good odds, why not the golf course? Why not the 39% good odds for me?

I'll see you on the high ground!

P to the Xth Power

2008-05-09T14:32:00.001-07:00

Hi, everyone. This has been an extraordinary week, filled with things starting with the letter "P". The news is good, so I won't keep you in suspense, but here is what "P Week" has been to me.

On Monday, I went in for my weekly PICC line dressing change and decided to have the Gastroenterology Nurse look at my PEG which was sore, oozing and occasionally bleeding. She looked and called a gastro doctor. He told me that he wanted to schedule an endoscopy (tube down throat into stomach) to see the PEG from the inside. But he also mentioned that the inflammation and soreness could have come from the PEG insertion which brought cancer to the PEG site. Endoscopy scheduled for today. Kernal Ken very PERPLEXED and koncerned...

Tuesday, the Queen Vee returned late, late in the evening. Before we left for Walter Reed scans next AM early, she was concerned that I needed to gain back a few POUNDS that had been lost while I was feeding myself.

The PET Scan at Walter Reed was the most PAINFUL experience of my cancer battle. I had to keep my arms together over my head for 24 minutes, despite the residuals of two rotator cuff injuries from my military past.

I asked if there was any other way to do this, but there was not. For 24 minutes I felt like John McCain in the Hanoi Hilton. It was truly a Ranger gut check.

On Thursday, my PEG was getting progressively worse, when - out of the blue - the surgeon who inserted it called and said he had heard I had a problem. I was astonished! First, this Navy Lt. Cdr., Dr. PEARL, was supposed to have deployed to Iraq two days after doing my surgery. The Navy changed his orders at the last second! He said he wanted to see the PEG, but would not be in the hospital on Friday. So, at 3:30 PM, The Queen braved the absolute worst of the Washington area rush hour, and we raced to Bethesda at a snail's pace. We arrived at about 5:15 to find that Doctor PEARL had waited after the clinic had closed at 4:00PM. And his wife had a two week old baby, their first, waiting at home. What a Great American!

He looked at the PEG and noted that it had begun to work its way out of my stomach, hence all the irritation. He removed the PEG and was preparing to put in another or keep the wound open, when the Queen and I convinced him to take it out and leave it out, since I hadn't used it in a week. He dressed the wound and the stomach healed itself within two hours. He was concerned that the ENT surgeon and radio-oncologist I was to meet on Friday would be upset. We took on that burden. Dr. PEARL cancelled the endoscopy for today.

This morning, we met with Doctors Markwell and Dulge for more than an hour. The PET and CT scans from Walter Reed were essentially clean, with a 6 millimeter area of suspicion near one of neck lymph nodes where

areas of concern would normally be measured in centimeters. The site of the primary tumor had not shown on the PET scan and was clean and pink when Dr. Markwell put the Otoscope down my nose to look at my throat. I have pictures, but will spare you the pain of looking. We talked over the state of the protocols and the options; then together decided to go ahead with the anticipated neck dissection - just to be sure something very small didn't start growing again. I asked why I still needed a PICC line, and they could think of no reason.

So, with good news under our belt, we went to Medical Oncology and had the PICC line removed. For the first time since January, I have no external PROTUBERENCES. I came home feeling like a PERSON, not a PATIENT!

The POWER of PRAYER works, beyond any shadow of a doubt. I am so thankful for all of you and your PRAYERS for me. The neck surgery is scheduled for 9 June, a month from today.

My final thought after a "P Week" of emotional lows and highs is PRAISE THE LORD!

I'll see you on the high ground!

Gals Walking, Surviving Alone and Preserving History

2008-05-03T10:48:00.000-07:00

\

\Instead of my normal Friday post, I waited until today so I could include a picture of "The Boob Crew" as they prepared to depart at 0500 this morning for their marathon and a half, two day walk to fight cancer.

Samantha and Audrey, my daughters, on on the left, while Linnea - a breast cancer patient - is in the center, with two additional friends. Except for Linnea, who will likely make portions of the trek but not all, these women have been preparing for months.

Any cure for breast cancer would be a huge breakthrough in the fight against all cancers, mine included. Thanks to all of you who have supported this worthy cause.

Samantha called me as they crossed Memorial Bridge, reminding me that I too had walked across Memorial Bridge as part of JFK's funeral procession on 25 November 1963. Large lump in my throat during that conversation had nothing to do with cancer.

This past week has been a busy one for me, since the Queen Vee took a well-deserved break from her job as head nurse and flew to Denver to get her first chance to hold our 8th grandchild, Tessa Grace Carlson as well as to visit with Whitney and Olivia and help Matt and Mindy with "projects."

I learned to feed myself without using Mr. PEG as well as how to do the twice daily PICC Line cleaning with just two hands. The only part of my care that required help from the family was wrapping my PICC Line arm in plastic bags before I bathed. I told Travis, who helped me this AM, that the plastic bags were the most useful part of the Washington Post... The rest is ultra-liberal opinions thinly disguised as news stories.

It will be good to have the Queen return on Tuesday night, since 0830 Wednesday, 7 May is the PET/CT scan to determine whether the 35 days of radiation and the 12 days of chemo has left me cancer-free. We should have an answer by Friday, 9 May. An extra prayer on my behalf would be most welcome as I lie under the beams of the two scans.

Finally, I wanted to share with you a project that has dragged on for far too long but is now complete. I had all the patches and crests of every unit I served in from 1962 to 1992 mounted in . sequence from left to right, top to bottom. This, along with the framed sets of my medals and my Father's medals, now make one piece of framed military memorabilia each for Chris, Samantha and Matt when I am gone. Who gets what will be up to the three of them to work out.

Thanks again for all your prayers and support. I need and can feel all of them. As my sister-in-law, Linda, said "The first hundred years are the hardest..." Amen!

I'll see you on the high ground!

I Lost My Ass!

2008-04-25T16:54:00.000-07:00

Today was a great day for me! Why then the title of this post? Stay tuned.

This morning I went to the South Riding Golf Course and joined several of my West Point classmates in supporting

the Inaugural Kelley Thoden Memorial Golf Tourney.

Of course, Rick Thoden, Kelley's grandpa, was there, joined by Mo Faber, Jim Morrison, Mike Fellenz, Buck Coates, and perhaps one or two others I missed due to my late arrival. A glorious weather day here in NOVA. Here's picture of me with Mike Fellenz, a classmate that Victoria and I served with in Berlin.

Although more classmates couldn't make it as players, we were a tourney sponsor, a hole sponsor and , according to Rick Thoden, we donated a very substantial amount to the three cancer charities being supported. Proud of my amazing class, as usual, but also touched deeply at honoring the little 9 year old whose greatest fear was that "no one would remember her." Today, we remembered and celebrated her courage and love, despite her altogether too short a life...

I rode the first nine holes with Jim, Mike and Buck, but I am not yet ready to play. My PICC Line won't allow for a fast swing without coming loose - an immediate, life-threatening disaster. Also, my PEG won't permit a full body turn without creating a torque problem. So, no golf until after they do the probable neck dissection to remove any residuals, and of course a recovery period as well.

Nonetheless, it was great to be out in the fresh air, look at the course, and make strategic suggestions to my three classmates. As I told them - the theory of golf is really straightforward; it's the execution that causes all the problems. I really look forward to the day when I can get back to trying to improve my execution.

So, if I didn't play, how did I lose my ass? Victoria was getting me ready for a bath by covering my PICC Line in plastic wrap (it can't get wet) when she noticed that much of my almost 50 pound weight loss had come off my butt. So much, in fact, that I have lots of wrinkles below the cheeks.

Now, for me - always called a "buttless wonder" by my wife and daughter - this represents a total loss of ass. It has been accompanied by a four inch loss around the waist and an unmeasured loss of muscle mass around my biceps/triceps. Thankfully, I had been working out at a local gym for almost a year before the cancer diagnosis, so I had built up some bulk which I could lose.

Right now, our priority is to aid my recovery by trying to increase the number of calories I am ingesting to regain some weight. We are having mixed results, but I am taking in more and greater variety by mouth.

No tastebuds yet and no return of the saliva glands, so eating most normal food requires rinsing my mouth between each bite. No spicy food, not even black pepper, since my tongue is still shedding the dead skin and exposing the new, which is VERY sensitive. Of course, the never-say-die mucous membranes are still firing away, so almost all my cancer related problems are directly mouth related.

Hope all of you are well. We are making noticeable progress and I'm feeling better. Even the gout, which jumped from left to right big toe, is now coming under control. Thanks again for your prayers and support.

I'll see you on the high ground!

The 18th of April

2008-04-18T17:44:00.000-07:00

"Listen, my children and you shall hear

of the Midnight Ride of Paul Revere.

'Twas the 18th of April in '75

and hardly a man is now alive

who remembers that famous day and year..."

Yes, Friends, today was Patriots Day in Boston. I wonder how many of you can remember how many lanterns were hung in the Old North Church to alert Paul Revere of which way the British were coming?

Not much to report on the cancer recovery scene this week except that a new (to me) side effect showed up last Monday when I developed a painful bout of gout in my left big toe. I can't recall anyone or anything I read telling me that gout was a side effect, but it is. Too much dairy in the liquid diet apparently, because I am 100% certain it was not as you recall from your "royalty movies" - too much red meat and alcohol... I am limping around and on a eight day regimen of steroids, which, of course, has side effects all its own.

On a lighter note, I went today for my first haircut since February. I am very fortunate to have lost hair only in two small spots near the bottom of my neck hairline. The 35 radiology treatments and the 12 chemo sessions produced instead a situation in which I no longer have to shave! Oh, except for two small spots the treatments appeared to have missed - just below my left sideburn and just below my left nostril. No thanks, I don't want any more treatments to address those two places!

In just 15 days, my daughters Samantha and Audrey will walk a marathon and a half over two days in support of cancer patients, victims and survivors. They each had to raise at least $1800 to be enrolled in the Avon walk. Over 79% of the funds raised go directly to the cancer programs being supported. I just want to thank all of you who donated to these two wonderful young women. It chokes me up to think that they are doing this, in part, for my recovery.

Speaking of choke ups, one week from today my West Point Class is one of the title sponsors for a memorial golf tournament for Kelley Thoden, the 9 year old granddaughter of a classmate who died from cancer several years back. As she valiantly fought the disease, she continually expressed the concern that, if she died, no one would ever remember her. Well, we remember and honor Kelley, even though most of us never met her. I will be present at the tournament, at least for a while, although I can't yet play.

Thanks to all of you for your continued prayers and support. This cancer recovery stuff isn't much fun - and it seems to be far too lengthy - but it is made easier knowing that all of you are in my corner while I go back into the ring for the next round.

Enjoy your gorgeous Spring and remember the patriots, both past and present, who have paid the price so that we may live in this free and wonderful Nation.

Medical Arcana

2008-04-11T07:59:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone! Kernal Ken back at the keyboard, writing the truth for justice and the American Way.

One problem with such writing is that my audience is a mixed lot. Many of you I know from the military or are in my extended family, some of you I know from my time in the Wall Street World, some are Church friends and/or neighbors, and some go all the way back to the days when I was a high school stud.

Today, I want to post about my experience with the health care system. For many of you, this will be old news. For some, this will be an eye opener on the military health care system. For others, you have already hit the escape key and are on to better things.

Someone once said, "A veteran, be he or she on active duty, in the reserves, the National Guard, or retired is someone who once, or many times, signed a blank check to the American People 'for any amount up to and including my life.'"

In return for that level of commitment, the government agrees to pay wages that are substantially below the civilian market, pay a housing and subsistance allowance that are inadequate for either purpose, move the soldier and family around every few years, whether they need it or not, and provide other benefits, such as retirement at an early age and healthcare - both of which are substantial.

Active duty soldiers and families receive their healthcare at no charge,but must find their own dental and eye care. Retired soldiers and families pay an annual modest fee, currently $498 for the same services. Historically, I should note that one of the reasons the Queen Vee decided to marry me was because I had a plan for the future which included healthcare. Her family had just gone through very difficult financial times when her mother died of cancer at age 46. So, the healthcare benefit is a major player in why many soldiers join and stay in the service.

Nonetheless, all healthcare seems to share some odd quirks, many of which I have seen most recently in my 4 months within the "Beast." Here are a few examples.

"Good morning, colonel. Welcome back to the ABC clinic. Let's take your vital signs." "I just had those taken 15 minutes ago in the DEF Clinic." "Well, let's take them again. Step on the scale, please." " I weigh 210 lbs." "Well, sir, our scale says you weigh 210.5 lbs. Did you have a doughnut on the way here?" "My blood pressure is 125 over 70." "Well, our device says 135 over 80, can you explain that?" "Yes, you're making me crazy!" I have had my vital signs taken four times with a three hour period - can that be efficient?

"Well, sir, we know you come from a long distance for these appointments, so we will try to make them for your convenience. Would you like this one at 7 AM or 4:45 PM?"

I have discovered that the number of doctors in the room is directly proportional to how painful the area to be examined will be. For instance, when the ENT doctor platoon wants to spray your nose with industrial strength Afrin so that they can insert the ENToscope into your sinuses and poke around for a while, you can be sure that at least three doctors will want a look. Each will say, "You may feel a little pressure." You will feel it.

The more technical the explanation of what is going on will always be given by the more junior of the medical staff. By the time someone starts explaining things in Latin, you can be sure that you are speaking to the most junior resident in the clinic. Junior residents always seem surprised if you ask a question.

Despite what you might expect, healthcare providers are among the least sensitive to those, like me, who also having hearing problems. I can point out hearing aids in both ears and note that I need to see their lips to fully understand what they're saying, but most doctors and nurses need several such pleas before they begin to get it.

The most critical prescriptions are the ones that come with the fewest pills per bottle and with the least number of refills authorized.

If you are an inpatient, your chances of communicating with the various nurses who will arrive in your room at odd times are directly proportional to whether or not you speak Spanish or understand English dialects from the Caribbean.

Well, enough for now. I have some real questions about the differences between the bills submitted by healthcare contractors, amounts allowed and amounts actually paid, to include patient share. But that stuff is complex enough to gag anyone. You may feel a little pressure.

Thanks for your continued support and prayers. This recovery part is harder than I expected, but not harder than I can take.

Anyone who would like to contribute to the fight against cancer as my daughters Audrey and Samantha take a marathon and a half walk in two weeks on my behalf, you can donate through their blogs at audrey at audreycarlsonsupermom.blogspot.com or samanthaleelee.blogspot.com. Thanks to many of you whose support has already been received!

I'll see you on the high ground!

I'm Not Dead Yet!

2008-04-05T10:57:00.000-07:00

(The Queen Vee guest blogging again) The title of this blog entry comes from one of our favorite silly movies , Monty Python's "In Search of the Holy Grail". The scene above depicts plague victims being hauled off for burial and one of them proclaiming, " I'm not dead yet"! Well, thank goodness Ken isn't dead yet, unfortunately he's not DONE yet either.

The Big Guy has been a bit discouraged by his recovery process this past week. He's been acting like the Knight who says "NI". What he should be saying is"I'm getting bettah" also from a plague victim in the the Grail flick, same scene.

So instead of a shrubbery (watch the movie if you haven't seen it), I bring to him

The Top Ten List of Reasons Ken is Making Recovery Progress .

10. Slowly reducing pain medication -- yep -- because there's less pain. May be off all of it in about a week.

9. Has started drinking small sips of clear liquids again -- ahhh. WATER!

8. Sleeping less during the day.

7. Made only 3 trips to Bethesda this week, next week maybe only ONE!

6. His neck has just about healed with new skin as soft as a baby's tooshie(pics next week.)

5. Actually ate some canned pears, and not through the pegster!

4. Made 2 trips to the store, driving himself.

3. Has resumed normal Ken activities, such as reading books and watching sports on TV.

2. Has been taking short walks outside for exercise.

And the number one reason we know Ken is making recovery progress is . . . (drumroll please)

1. He's able to put up a good ol' fashioned Ken Carlson arguement!

Two other highlights of our week included:

Our new granddaughter Tessa being blessed at church this past Sunday. (enjoy picture below)

Ken met up with his West Point classmate Jim Doyle who has been a great support during this experience. Jim has been fighting stomach cancer. The two of them met at Bethesda, where Jim had a 15 pound tumor removed a few weeks ago.

In closing, let me leave you with a quote from King Arthur (again, Monty Python's version) that reminded me of Ken. "You fight with the strength of many men, sir knight. You have proved yourself worthy."

We'll see you on the high ground.

The Rime of the Ancient Mariner

2008-03-27T11:08:00.000-07:00

I managed to escape blogging duties last week, thanks to the kindness and cleverness of Victoria and Samantha. Their rich mixture of the events we experienced as an extended family was a clear representation of the "Circle of Life."

As a "vertically gifted" person, it is often easy for me to forget the impact I may have on some when, for example, an elevator door opens and the unexpected crying giant is right in front of you. But they were truly tears of joy as so many emotional events crowded into one large body with one small brain. What a week!

Now we finish Week 8 with both radio and chemotherapies behind but much healing left to do.
The title of this post reminded me of the classic wherein the seaman describes his journey to a wedding guest. I , the Ancient Guy, have made the mistake of shooting the bird, which now hangs around my neck. It's like my weekly requirement to post a blog.

The neck, in turn, fits nicely into the description of the awful situation I have created:

Day after day, day after day,
We stuck, nor breath nor motion;
As idle as a painted ship
Upon a painted ocean.
Water, water every where,
And all the boards did shrink;
Water, water, every where,
Nor any drop to drink.

I believe I mentioned the swallow study they did on me while I was hospitalized. That's where they discovered that I can swallow most liquid consistencies, except clear liquids, which I have a tendency to aspirate. That could cause pneumonia. Clear liquids, unfortunately, make up a large portion of the liquids one would like to swallow when one has a really bad sore throat.
As a result, as I am now in the reverse cycle of Week 5, and need to get lots of mucous out without the benefit of any saliva being created. In Week 5, I could do that with the help of clear liquids. Now, the problem is a bit stickier, pun fully intended.

The Navy has helped out by sending home a portable home care mucous suction machine, see below, which is quite helpful in getting the mess out of my mouth and throat. I love the fact that all the Navy contractor stuff comes in any delightful shade of gun metal gray you prefer.

To get fluids in, Victoria and I are still relying on the PEG tube and whatever else I can get down in the form of a shake or a soup of the right consistency. The external neck burns are getting better and could be almost gone in several weeks. In the next few weeks , we will begin testing to discover whether the therapy has outwardly succeeded at known locations . Various PET and MRI scans are also to be expected to see if the cancer has spread anywhere else.

So, right now, I feel as if we are "stuck, as idle as a painted ship upon a painted ocean." The frustrating part is that we may have entered the cave and slain the dragon, but we've lost the trail of bread crumbs that leads us back out. Victoria continues to remind me that this stage of treatment is one of the reasons they call us "patients." Patience, my patootie! Let's get on with it!

Finally, to celebrate the end of Week 7, I have attached some photos and a video taken by Samantha and Audrey on "Ringing Out Day." They are concluded with some photos of what the gals did for us before Victoria and I got home.

Remember all the balloons and posters you put up as your kids grew up, graduated, got married and had those wonderful grandchildren of yours? I never thought nor expected there would be pay back for any of that - until we arrived home on Monday. I love my family more than I can express in words.

(Poster reads: Way to go Dad! You did it and we are so proud of you!)

We have arrived on the first objective - there are still hills and obstacles ahead. Thank you for your continued prayers and best wishes. Take a break until Monday, then it's back uphill.
I'll see you as we maneuver towards the next high ground.

Good Friday, Good Life

2008-03-21T11:17:00.000-07:00

"A day is huge: cancer continues to teach me to live life-not just go through it. When I wake each morning I know I have another day- a day is HUGE. It's always anyone's game! Never give up! There is always hope! Miracles are all around us!"

from the Journal of Christy Hartman Myers

Victoria here, guest blogging again - not because Ken is unable - but because I'm the Queen and I can do what I want! (including usurping the blog of a sleeping husband.) As we are in the midst of this glorious Easter season, Ken and I are both so thankful for our Good life. So on this Good Friday we would just like to share with you some of the Good things that have happened this week and some of the Good people who have touched our lives.

Good friends from the past....

The above quote comes from the journal of Christy Myers (pictured above, with her husband Joe) a long time family friend who left this life earlier than any of us would have liked. Christy was an incredible woman and is our exemplar for how to fight cancer. She did it with grace, humor and determination while continuing to live her life fully for 8 years after diagnosis. We can only hope to live up to her example.

Recently our son Matt put together a wonderful video to support Ken, which many of you participated in. We were so moved and touched by your kind words and loving encouragement. Thank you dear friends - this video came at a time when Ken needed it most.

Good new best friends . . .

As we've gone through this journey with cancer, we have made many new best friends. Cynthia and Reno are two of them. (pictured here at the radiation clinic) Reno is an Italian who loves an American burger. Cynthia met him while stationed with the Navy in Italy. She has been battling cancer for 16 years. They travel to Bethesda from Italy for her treatment. If you ask Cynthia how she's doing, she'll reply, "I'm doing great!" or "It is a wonderful day!" Cynthia says that there are only two things she can control during her fight with cancer - her attitude and what she says to God. We feel blessed that our paths have crossed with this couple - and I'm learning a little Italian on the side from Reno!

Good news in our family . . .

Our niece Megan chose today - Good Friday - as her wedding date! Today a couple will start a new life together. Although we can't be there, we are excited for them and wish them great joy and years of happiness as they start this journey together. It's quite a trip! (take it from someone who knows.)

While waiting for the elevator on Wednesday as we left Ken's chemo treatment, the Big Guy started crying. One of the medical staff asked if she could help him. I said, "No, he's okay, these are tears of joy." Two hours earlier our 8th grandchild, Tessa Grace Carlson (proud parents Matt & Mindy), arrived on planet Earth, healthy, strong and drop dead gorgeous! It was a really GOOD day!

Good Friday ...

Today Ken completed Chemo cycle! He only has one day of radiation left! Although the next two weeks will be difficult for Ken, this part of his treatment is almost over and we both feel pretty darn GOOD about that! As we start this Easter weekend, we will gather our family together and rejoice in this season of hope and renewal. We are grateful for our Savior, for our many great blessings, for good family, good friends and a good life.

See you on the high ground.

In Bedded vs. Embedded

2008-03-15T17:20:00.000-07:00

Well, Week 6 has now ended of my seven-week therapy – but certainly not as anticipated in most scenarios. It began with pain medicines.

I am not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV, so recognize you are reading the words of a patient, and DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!

The matching of the right dose of the correct pain med with the correct pain of the right cancer is like one of those algebra problems where the variables and the unknowns don’t match.

The case of Oxycontin SR and Oxycontin IR case is a good example. Oxycontin SR is a longer lasting, sustained released painkiller that is strong enough for most cancer pains. Oxycontin IR on the other hand is an immediate acting pain med when needed.

Last Friday, Victoria and I left Bethesda with instructions to increase the amount of Oxycontin (SR) as the pain was increasing with the effects of both chemo and radiotherapy building up from weeks One and Four. We were told to increase the Oxycontin IR to 50 by cutting one additional tablet in two, making two 20s and one 10. Oops…

There were actually two NNMC Med folks involved in the “oops”, each from different clinics, both of whom are now aware of what happened. “What happened” was that Oxycontin SR is not designed as a long acting med which can be made into several smaller long acting meds. Rather, it becomes something weird, something I now call a “Loopy Land Special.” Cutting Oxycontin IR in half is perfectly fine, but not what was directed. Confused? So were we.

I became loopy, not processing info correctly and hallucinating a bit on the reality around me. Victoria had the kids come for Sunday dinner, and I asked for a special priesthood blessing from Travis and Christopher, since we all knew that something wasn’t right.

On Monday, we were back at Bethesda for the start of Week 6, and describing to the docs the events of the weekend to include a fever that had arisen on Saturday night. In just a few short minutes, I became an imbedded blogger at The National Naval Medical Center, required to stay until my fever was gone and my pain meds were behaving as expected.

While imbedded, I am sure I was asked to do a story on the role played by the Washington medical bureaucracy in the continuing controversy over Global Warming.

First, I had to sort the massive amounts of evidence and testimony that GW (the President) was responsible for all things bad on the planet, from those who had confused the President’s initials (GWB) with Global Warming (GW). Then, I had to sort the connections between GWB, GW and the Global War on Terror (GWOT). Clearly, we had a shortage of consonants.

But, in Global Warming, the Navy had collected some key information and developed new technologies:

Here is a photo of the one of the special collection uniforms worn by those of us imbedded at NNMC. The uniform is shown with pieces of skin from drowned polar bears pulled in from the Potomac River.

This is a super-secret data collection cart which collects temperature and CO2 measurements as Navy agents move throughout this region. 200 degrees Fahrenheit was just an average reading for this week.

This gross picture is what a human neck looks like after exposure to short periods of GW. By sheer coincidence, 5 weeks of chemo and radiotherapy for cancer produces a similar result. Al Gore claims that the government is hiding photographs like these as part of “An Inconvenient Truth.”

This code word training device was developed by Al Gore as a technology which will allow humans to communicate with other planets, themselves also possibly subject to global warming.

To speak to a viable planet, Mr. Gore speaks through the inter-planetary megaphone to the light blue orb and offers his full range of environmentally sound programs that will benefit an early, emerging society. The dark blue planets, those to die “The Day After Tomorrow” are offered by Gore and Associates programs for currently civilized, but overly rich planets that must change their life styles. Finally, the black planets are those, such as our own, for whom all hope is lost and who are forced to listen to Rush Limbaugh on the megaphone as their planet becomes yet another “ball of fire.”

Thankfully, having my own special collection uniform made me pretty inconspicuous among others, but the security was extremely tight as shown here.

I became concerned that my “loopy land special” drug problem was not being resolved when I swore I heard on the radio that the DJIA, falling for weeks, had just jumped over $416 per index share. I shook my head to clear the cobwebs when I read that crude oil was now selling at over $110 per barrel. And I knew there must be a problem with the drugs when someone reported that 22-year-old women were being hired for $5500 by the Governor of New York to assist him with business in Washington.

So, I went back to practicing my Wong Baker Faces because I think that I might need them more in Week 7.

Jack LeCuyer found Victoria and me on Friday night. I think he was sent by the Navy to find the blogging mole. I will have escaped by the time you read this blog post if the “Ticket to Ride” works.

By then, I will have spent all of week 6 imbedded in “the belly of the Beast.” The people continue to be wonderful, their medical care superb and their attitude positive. Heck, they even fix their few mistakes… And the chances to catch a spare autograph are pretty good!

Thanks for your prayers and support. See you on the high ground!

Embedded @ Bethesda Club Med

2008-03-14T08:18:00.000-07:00

Photo courtesy of the actual Club Med

Faithful "Leatherneck" Readers -

A quick update to let you know that much like this starfish pictured above, my dad is currently lying around at Club Med Bethesda, waiting for the heat (aka fever) to subside so he can come back home with the best nurse we've seen so far. (yes, that would be my mom!)

Five days in the hospital have given him plenty of stories and pictures to share with you all, so stay tuned - he'll hopefully be home tomorrow and posting on the blog himself. Thanks for your prayers and support!

See you on the high ground.

Samantha Carlson Lee

7 Mar 2008

2008-03-07T17:55:00.000-08:00

Okay, Gang. This post represents the bits and pieces of items covered before which may need updating, as well as some new stuff too incredible to skip. WARNING: Some have said to let them know when things might get too graphic so they can scan and/or pass. This may be one of those posts.

First, I have discovered a remarkable similarity between throat cancer patients and snakes. Here's a picture of 300+ pound, 18 1/2 foot long Boa Constrictor killed by my Vietnam Cav Troop near the DMZ. At the time (March 1969),it was reported by the Stars and Stripes as being the largest Boa ever found that far north in the country. His carcass was burned after several troopers got the skin that they needed to make wallets and other trophies.

He starts today's post because, like snakes, people also shed their skins. Dandruff, flaking skin, etc. are all common to most. However, unlike most of you, throat

cancer patients under radio and chemotherapy also shed THEIR TONGUES. I'm not going to show you that, but underneath your tongue and along your cheeks are a spare set of tongue and cheek tissues, just waiting until the burned, treated ones come off and are replaced by the rookies. This is one of the least pleasant experiences you can imagine and has been the "highlight" of week 5. Thankfully, the docs are ready for this set 0f events and an upsurge in pain meds makes this close to tolerable.

Victoria has been providing me with a daily thought on a 3x5 card each morning. For Week 5, they included the following, which reminded me of the snake and my throat.

"I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much." -- Mother Teresa

"If you're going through hell, keep going." -- Winston Churchill

"I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing." -- Agatha Christie

"It is said an Eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent him a sentence to be ever in view, and which should be true and appropriate in all times and situations. They presented him the words: 'And this, too, shall pass away.' " -- Abraham Lincoln

My love and thanks to Victoria for inspiring me each day!

When faced with this kind of adversity, I look for sources of inspiration. Of course, the Lord, my family and my Country are my first thoughts. And I have found myself praying a lot and know that friends and family are praying too. Thank you.

Second, having come from the Lord, I know now how I got here and where I have been. Below you will see a picture taken by my son Christopher on 8 June 2006, forty years to the day of my graduation from West Point. We were there for an Association of Graduates golf tournament and just managed to be on Trophy Point when a storm blew in. I call it, "A Forty Year Tribute To Fruit and Milk." (My class was the first to get fruit and milk during Beast Barracks because we were losing so much weight.) This vista is one of the most beautiful views in America and for me represents the great challenges during which my class came together.

Lastly, knowing where I've been and what I've accomplished with the help of so many others, also tells me where I am going - hopefully not too soon. The short clip below was recorded at the Cadet Chapel in 2002, on the 200th anniversary of the founding of West Point. The producers of the movie "We Were Soldiers " needed a group singing a song that, in the producer's and author's words, "sounded 200 years old". What a coincidence! This original version was recorded by the Cadet Glee Club and was inserted in the closing credits of the film. You can click here for this inspiring song. The lyrics are also shown.

So, Week 5 , not so good. But then again 40 years ago in Dahlonega, GA, things weren't exactly a picnic either. Sorry this post was delayed, but I now know that many of you tune in on Friday.

We will improve! And we'll see you on the high ground.

Blend It! Plunge It! Slurp It!

2008-02-29T10:28:00.000-08:00

When Ken and I got married it was almost sacrosanct to get a blender as a wedding gift. We didn't break with tradition! Our blender mostly sat in the cupboard or in a box as it moved with us from place to place. Occasionally I would haul it out of its dark cupboard , quickly use it, and hide it again.

No longer is it the neglected kitchen gagdget! It, in all its 70's glory, is now proudly displayed on our kitchen counter next to a cool antique cubby and some great glass crocks holding flour and sugar. Finally this vintage Osterizer has come into it's own by becoming the most used item in our kitchen! All hail the mighty blender!

Due to the type of cancer Ken has, at this stage, all of his food has to be easily swallowable. (Think smoothie texture people!) Every patient is different. One person we heard of ate nothing but 12 cups of custard a day! (Yum) Another, towards the end could only stand to swallow sour cream due to its cooling nature and creamy texture. One wife got creative and made an entire cookbook of her special recipes, which she shared with us. But for some reason, canned salmon with vanilla Ensure didn't appeal to Ken's fine pallate. (nor did turkey baby food with vanilla Ensure . . .go figure?!)

We have finally come up with what works best for Ken right now - though it could change. So as a treat for you today, and as Ken's first guest blogger and executive chef of the Carlson Cancer Cuisine, I (Victoria, aka The Queen Vee) thought I'd give you a peek at what's keeping the big guy going - with 3000 calories a day! Here's how we do it:

Breakfast: The 1000 Calorie Shake Recipe

One scoop whey protein

One cup true, real, all the fat, vanilla ice cream

One container Ensure PLUS (chocholate, vanilla or strawberry)

One cup full fat yogurt in flavor of the day

Canned fruit of your choice

Add 2% milk and whole cream, baby!

Not only does this breakfast provide 1000 calories, it also gives Ken 24 ounces of his daily requirement of 110 ounces of liquid! Bottoms up, Ken -in this fabulous cup given to Ken by a really thoughtful HIGH SCHOOL classmate, Mary Cady. At least we know he won't forget his name.

We hesitated using Ken's feeding PEG tube (hereafter referred to lovingly as "The Pegster") because we didn't want him to lose his ability to swallow. But after a week of rapid weight loss and a bit of a chewing out by the doctors, we embraced The Pegster for lunch and snack times and found that it has taken some pressure off of Ken, allowing him to focus his swallowing around breakfast and dinner times. He now takes one third of his daily calories through The Pegster. This could increase toward the end due to swallowing difficulties.

Lunch: The 900 Calorie Plunge Recipe
2 cans Isosource liquid (do not try at home . . . nasty, nasty stuff)
1 container Ensure
Secret Ingredient - 1/2 cup straight prune juice (mmmm...)
1/2 cup salted water

Personal aside by daughter Samantha who is editing this post: Watching the plunge is a real treat. Mom and dad have a little system I call the Pinch n' Plunge. It involves Dad pinching the tube, mom filling the syringe and saying "Go!" when she's ready to plunge. They do this in quick sucession about ten times with the delectible recipe above. When it's done, Mom turns to Dad and says, "How was it, dear?" He lovingly answers, "Delish!" It is a complete riot!

The Pinch n' Plunge by a great team!

He looks happy (and really good, too). It must be tasty!

Dinner: A pureed soup du jour followed by the second 1000 calorie shake of the day. His current favorite is egg drop soup from the Asia Cafe. He also favors Campbell's Bean with Bacon run through the blender. The good thing about both soups is they are high in protein, which he needs.

Dessert: As if he hasn't had enough ice cream - and the doctors have told him to have as much as he wants - some evenings he tops it all off with a NASCAR sponsered Klondike Bar zapped in the microwave for softening.

I log everything Ken eats and drinks into a food journal. At the end of the day I tally up his calories and fluid intake and if it isn't high enough we do the "Pinch 'n Plunge" to make up for the missing numbers.

I've ventured a guess that he may never want soup and smoothies again after this, but he says he will. One nice thing about this for me, is that after 38 1/2 years, I have a break from cooking. Now if I could just get my kids to quit coming over for dinner . . .

We're halfway through Ken's treatment - a real milestone. We've hit our stride and Ken's spirits are good. The next few weeks will be the most challenging with The Pegster becoming a more frequent option. We feel your prayers and we'll see you on the high ground.

Washington and Butthead

2008-02-22T17:49:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday, George Washington! A guy whose integrity and character went a long way into making America what it became. Thank you, Mr. President.

Today was also sleet, snow and freezing rain day here in metro DC, which meant that the roads were, in the immortal words of my good friend, Bill Speer, "slicker than deer guts on a door knob..." The lovely Miss Victoria Galore, soon to join Joe Gibbs Racing, made it through like the champ that she is. My internal gyroscope told my sleeping body that at no time were we moving perpendicular to the long axis of the car! Good job, Angel.

Oh, and I did I mention that we finished three weeks of therapy today?

Here's some medical things that we have learned. The head bone is connected to the butt bone. We know that because that's how Beavis's friend got his name. What happens between those two bones is a little more complicated, but educational.

In cancer, one's metabolism speeds up dramatically, trying to replace the cells that are being attacked. If you just eat normally, you will lose weight. In throat cancer, the problem is multiplied because you cannot "just eat normally." Hence the PEG tube into my stomach.

We had tried for 2 1/2 weeks to avoid the PEG tube, because swallowing and jaw movement are also important. But we had our priorities backward. First, stay hydrated and don't lose weight; second, keep swallowing as much as possible and exercise the jaw.

Well, working without the PEG tube, I had lost 9 pounds in just over a week. The docs

hit the brakes hard. So now PEG is my primary means and throat is secondary. I regained 5 pounds in two days, thus avoiding the IV hydration drip they were about to give me. Taking in smaller amounts through the throat is also much less painful.

From the dental extractions until now - just a month - I have gone from Tylenol 3 to Percocet, from Percocet to morphine pipette, and from morphine to Oxycontin and Oxycodone, where I am now. Wow, you're thinking - this guy is in trouble.

Docs jumped in early to assure both of us that no throat cancer patient has ever become addicted to these heavy duty opiates. Why? because they are not making me high in any way (just comfortable enough to swallow a little) , when the pain stops, the drugs will stop and I won't want any more. The rethinking of the pain killers is what turned my weight around. Now we must continue into the tougher weeks.

As the journey down the bones concludes, the butt bone doesn't like pain killers which take too much moisture out coming through the Erie canal, or whatever they call it. So the butt bone goes on strike, sorta like the Screen Writers Guild did, and the result is the same - no "high quality material" for the evening show... not even re-runs.

Docs can fix that as well, but the growing list of drugs coming into TAJ M'home has now caught the attention of the DEA whose agents are dressed as Honduran builders throughout the neighborhood.

So, how to relax through all this? Get up at 0605, step out onto the back porch and check out the scene to the East, below.

Thanks for your continuing prayers and good wishes. See you on the high ground!

Ken

Allies and Angels

2008-02-15T10:34:00.000-08:00

Week two of Radiotherapy has now ended, with a three day weekend and no trips to Bethesda until Tuesday!

Last week I noted that side effects start in week two and three. While true, I have had few side effects so far. However, overlooking the obvious, the PRIMARY effects of both radio and chemo therapy do appear in week two. Ouch...

In this war, I have discovered that the mucous membranes of the mouth and throat are like Israeli soldiers - doesn't matter what the attack, they keep on fighting back.

However, the saliva glands are a lot more like French soldiers - they fire a couple of shots and run away.

The radiotherapy has attacked the tumors pretty effectively, according to the films. But after just a week, the saliva system booked out, leaving the mucous membranes firing on all cylinders. Yuck!

The result is that my mouth and throat are awash in thick mucous, stuff which would go away if only there was some saliva to help it dissolve. This creates an unhappy mouth which has now grown sores and developed thrush - both of which give one a sore throat unlike any I've ever had.

Picture this - each morning, I awake to discover that I've SWALLOWED MY CAR KEYS which are stuck in my throat. Much of the morning is spent trying to resolve that dilemma while heading back for yet more time with Goldfinger. So much for biological allies.

There are medical allies, of course. Much is focused on trying to keep my mouth able to swallow and most of that is in various mouth care and mouthwash products.

Some are for saving teeth, some are for dry mouth, one is for thrush and my favorite contains lidocaine, which helps dull pain. Each comes with a helpful suggestion - "swish and spit" or "swish and swallow." But my Beast Barracks squad leader told me never to do anything that had to do with "swishing..." The accurate instruction would be, "gag and retch."

Finally for this week, angels. We all have them, and I hope most of you had the chance to thank your angels yesterday on Valentines Day. I have a bunch of angels for whom I am grateful - including you!

Thought I'd share two pictures of some Carlson angels. These are my Denver angels, Whitney and Olivia, along with Matt and Mindy. A new Denver angel will arrive in a few weeks!

The second is a picture at New Years of the Northern VA angels, Chris, Hannah and Soren Lee as well as Jonah and Samuel Carlson.

Of course, the head angel of all of them is the lovely Miss Victoria Galore, who keeps us all in line.

Going through cancer therapy together is a reaffirmation of the 38 years we've been roommates. I don't know how I could even begin this journey without her by my side.

We have discovered, however, that as she drives to and from Bethesda each day, the best use of my time is to ignore the traffic and her driving, instead checking the inside of my eyelids for small holes... Live and learn!

See you on the high ground!