Happy, happy, happy, happy, happy...

Does anybody know a word 

That sort of rhymes with "quint?"

In English, is there such a word?

If so, please give a hint.

'Cause we all want to celebrate

The birthday of the Five;

So rhyming "quint" is needed

And a goal for which to strive.

If such a rhyme is possible,

Perhaps we'll have to squint,

And search through scads of volumes

For a word that sounds like "quint."

Or have a steel trap-like mind

Or knowledge sharp as flint;

Else wise it is impossible 

To rhyme a word with "quint."

So happy birthday, ALL of you,

Each one of you a "quint."

We hope you get a bunch of gifts

And loot that fills the Mint!

Your Faithful Super Hero,

Kernal "Batman" Ken

Verizon on the Horizon

Well, today is my day to "out" Verizon.  This will be progress for me.

You see, here in beautiful downtown Brambleton, we are an "all Verizon Community."  All of our phone service, TV and computer hookups come through Verizon FIOS, their fiber-optic network that comes to each house, and here in Brambleton, to each room of the house. We have been called "the most wired community in America." It's lightning fast and usually very reliable... But not this week.

On Wednesday, I called our "special Verizon Reps here in Brambleton," the ones who are to provide us with "concierge service" since the whole community has opted for Verizon FIOS.  I wanted to upgrade my cable box to HD so that I could see every bead of sweat at the Olympics coming up.

"No problem, Mr. Carlson.  We'll have someone out tomorrow between 1 and 5 to exchange boxes and set up your new high definition service."  Great.

Come 6PM yesterday, no cable guy from Verizon.  One ringy dingy... "Oh, thank you for your call. Just a moment while I check on that work order number."  10 minutes pass.  

"I've found the problem, Mr. Carlson.  Let me connect you with a dispatcher who will verify a time tomorrow morning to have a tech visit your house."  5 minutes pass.  "Hello, this is Bonnie with Verizon.  How may I help you?"

Well, Bonnie, what time tomorrow will I receive my new box?  "Mr. Carlson, I have no idea what you're talking about.  May I have you phone number and the amount of your last bill?"  Bonnie was apparently the default pickup when I was otherwise cut off.  Start back at square one with Bonnie and, no, I don't recall the amount of my last bill.

"No problem, Mr. Carlson, I'll have a dispatcher call you in the morning with your appointment time."

One PM today.  One ringy dingy.  Hey, Verizon, no one has called as promised on this work order number.  "Let me check on that, Mr. Carlson, and thank you for copying down that number - it will make this go much faster." 

 15 minutes pass.

"Are you still there, Mr. Carlson?"  Yep, but I wouldn't be if it weren't for speakerphones.  "We'll have this done in just a moment.  Thank you for your patience."

Five minutes pass.  "Hello, this is Bonnie with Verizon.  How may I help you?"  Bonnie, this is Mr. Carlson, amazingly the same guy you promised last night that I would get a call this morning.  Remember?  "I'm sorry , sir, I wasn't here last night.  You must have gotten another Bonnie."  Start back at Square One with Bonnie #2.

"Mr. Carlson, we are tracking that order # that you gave.  But let me give you a special number to call for our valued customers in Brambleton."  I think I've already done that, Bonnie #2, but go ahead.  And I get a new number, not the one Verizon had provided before for our Brambleton "concierge service."

One ringy dingy.  " Mr. Carlson, we've checked your work order number but it is not in the system."  Why not, I asked, since for the last two days everyone has been referring to the same number?

"Well, it appears that our system for new orders and order upgrades is down."  And how long has that been the case?  "Sir, it's been down for over a week, but we're working overtime to fix it."  

So, all these people at Verizon who have been promising me that I would shortly receive a call as to the appointment time??? "Sir, I don't know how that could happen, since we haven't been able to process orders for the last eight days.  Just a moment, let me check one thing..."

Five minutes pass. "Hello, this is Bonnie with Verizon.  How may I help you..."  Agggggggh!

I need some high ground to send smoke signals to Verizon.  The stuff burning is my hair...

Kirtland, K&V and Kooks

Thanks for giving me a week off from blogging duties.  Last weekend allowed me to escape the area for the first time since last November.  Getting away with the Queen was good for both of us, and I certainly felt more like a person than a patient, which, as Martha would say, is a good thing.

We drove West at a leisurely pace to Kirtland, Ohio, near Cleveland on Lake Erie.  It is a place that the Queen has long wanted to visit, since a significant chunk of history from her faith, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, occurred there.  The Mormons left Palmyra , New York in the early 1830's and were directed to Ohio by divine inspiration.  In Kirtland they built a thriving community and their first temple, which was dedicated by the Prophet Joseph Smith in 1836.

Smith had no engineering training yet produced plans and blueprints for the temple which was built of wood, stones and stucco, yet stands today.  As an engineer, I found it to be a pretty remarkable piece of work.

At the temple dedication, many witnesses saw the appearance of heavenly personages and felt their temple had been approved by God.

And, as many of you can probably tell, I'm way over my head in Mormon theology, so I'll just continue with the history.  By 1838, over 2000 Church members called Kirtland home, but lawsuits and the failure of the Kirtland Bank caused serious community discord and the Mormons were threatened until they agreed to leave.

Within a year, only 100 remained.

The rest of the LDS community began their movement westward, first to Northern Missouri, a state where the governor declared it legal to kill them on sight, and then to Nauvoo, Illinois where they established a city larger than Chicago.  Eventually, Joseph Smith and his brother were assassinated in the Carthage, Illinois jail and the Mormons were again driven out, this time led by Brigham Young.  After much hardship, they arrived in the Salt Lake Valley, where they made the desert bloom like a rose and the Olympics succeed in 2002.

So, after taking care of me for seven months, the Queen deserved a chance to see some of her heritage and I enjoyed it as well.  We even met some LDS missionaries who are from the same congregation in Saint George, Utah as the Queen's brother and sister-in-law.

And, we got the chance to see other neat stuff in northern Ohio, including flea markets and the really quaint town of Gambier which is home to Kenyon College, a small liberal arts school whose campus looks like a movie set from the 1930's.  Great fun!

On a lighter note, on the way back to D.C. I was very concerned as we saw our first set of large scale wind turbines.  In one case, there were eight of them on Pennsylvania hilltops, in another set there were 13.  So why the concern?

Wake up, folks!  The earth turns clockwise, right?  That's why the sun comes up in the East and the weather patterns generally come from the West.  So, if all these new giant wind turbines are facing West (and they are), the turbine blades must be doing more than just spinning electricity - they must also be producing a propeller-like force which is, depending on how the blades are configured, either pushing the Earth to turn faster in a clockwise direction or, alternatively, causing the earth's rotation to slow.

With enough wind turbines facing West, will will eventually spin the globe so fast that days and nights will be only a few hours long OR we will bring the globe to a halt.  In the latter case, you don't want to be either on the dark or the light side, one of which will freeze and the other turn to desert.

Another example of the Law of Unanticipated Consequences!  And, the turbines will eventually take up all the high ground,meaning there's no where for us to go while trying to escape the polar bears!

Get to the high ground quickly, before it is all filled with wind turbines.  I'll see you there.

July 3d

I swear I must be the only blogger on the planet who gets harassed by his readers if not exactly on schedule each week.  Some folks must set their sun dials by me, it seems.

Well, I was busy on Friday - remember it was Independence Day. We had a Chris Lee All Star baseball game and dinner at Spy Mommy's, followed by Leesburg fireworks which were great.  And Saturday, I got roped into doing the VA side of the Carlson War Memorials Tour, so I was pretty whipped when I got home.

 

So, today I am going to rewind the clock and talk about the

 3rd of July, another day we Carlsons celebrate.

On 3 July 1967, Miss Victoria Nelson agreed to go on a date with me for the first time.

She and her boyfriend had recently broken off and my girlfriend had gone home with her parents, so both of us were unattached in Berlin, at the height of the Cold War.

I asked if she would like to join me for dinner at the French Officer's Club, where I would demonstrate my French language proficiency and my general savoir faire.

She accepted.

Unfortunately, I had failed to check with the French to see if their club was open that evening, which it was not.  So much for savoir faire...

Well, we were stuck in the French Sector of Berlin,so we went

to the French Volksfest, a bit overdressed, 

but what the heck.  We had a great time, and I even spoke a little French.  And that was 41 years ago, last Thursday.

We got engaged in Hawaii in 1969, while I was on R&R from Vietnam and were married in December of that year at Fort Douglas, Utah.

And it's been a wild ride ever since.

                                                                                       

Special prayers this week for my dear

friend, LadyJosh, who has contracted breast cancer after successfully having fought renal cancer several years ago.  You can follow her story at http://jeansgreenandpinkribbons.blogspot.com.  She is a nurse and former police detective, so be prepared for the truth about cancer, not the pablum I have fed you as I have become a Leatherneck.

Next week, the Queen and I are taking a weekend trip to Kirtland, Ohio to check out some Mormon historical sites.   So, no blog from me this Friday.

Jean and friends, I'll see you on the high ground! 

Legacy

   

        

It's only Sunday and already several of my readers have reminded me that my normal Friday/Saturday post is late!  I suppose I should be honored that some need their  fix of Kernal Ken on time, although I'm sure most can live without my weekly rant for a day or two.  There is a reason for this week's delay.

Tomorrow, 30 June 2008, is a special day for our family.  It has to do with the legacy that has been left for us.

First, the Queen Vee and Compound Eye of a Dragonfly will represent us at the funeral of Victor J. Nelson.  With most of his family at his bedside, Victor, 90 years old,  graduated with honors from this life on Thursday, 26 June and went home to live with our Heavenly Father.

 

 A Utah State graduate with a degree in zoology, a World War II Navy veteran,  a master builder and craftsman as well as teacher in the building trades, and a 27 year member of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, Victor's greatest accomplishments were in the lessons of life, of love and of kindness he left for his children and grandchildren.

And here is the impact.  Victor leaves behind seven children, two step-children, 35 grandchildren and 78 great grandchildren.  That's 122 people who know PERSONALLY of the skills, the character, the faith and the kindness of this one man, and countless more who will hear his story in years to come.  Well done, Dad, extremely well done...

Monday, 30 June is also a special day on my side of the family.  It is the 100th birthday of my Mom, Helen Mabel Christine Johnson Carlson.

Known as Moline, Illinois' "Fastest Woman" (for the right reasons), she was a track standout in high school and at The Chicago Normal School of Physical Education, where she earned her teaching degree and lots of championship trophies.

Her wedding to 2LT Gunnar Carlson was covered by cub radio reporter (later President) Ronald Reagan, but the glamour of a military wedding was quickly eclipsed by the cold of Northern Wisconsin where her husband commanded a CCC Camp, the scorpions and floods of Panama, the continuous moving in the pre-war Army and her husband's departure for the war in the Pacific.

May brought her two sons to occupied Japan on the first ship to carry "MacArthur's Pioneers."   Later, she and I travelled to South Vietnam to join my Dad who was one of 85 Americans in that country in the mid 1950's.  With my brother and I both returning during the war, the Carlsons  are one of the very few who can say that the entire family, Mom included, served in Vietnam.

An inspirational, devoted mother and a loving, generous grandmother, May passed her earthly test and peacefully departed in  2001 at age 93.  Her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren, although not as numerous as those of Victor Nelson, have been left with her inspiring story and example of duty, sacrifice and love of Country.  Her life, as that of Victor, will remain legend.  Well done, Mom, and Happy Birthday!

And as for you anxious readers, I'll see you on the high ground!

We Interrupt This Program...

Hi, there!  No guest blogger this week, just your regular Kernal Ken.

Things, as usual, are hectic around here.

Brother-in-law, Kirk Nelson, visited this past week for two days.  I asked him when was the last time he was here and he reminded me that it was last Fall.  Well, I told him, not much has changed since then, given the title of this post, "We interrupt this program..."

I got my "interruption" in mid-November.  Ever since then, my program has been interrupted by cancer.  Even the interruptions are interrupted, such as "you might not have to have the neck dissection...we interrupt this thought to bring you the following truth - they are going to cut you open anyway..."  

You've seen the scar and the staples, which are now out, and I am starting to recover from the surgery which interrupted my recovery from the radiation and chemo.  Thankfully, every thing is clean - so far.

Next we had the funny blog interruption where The Digital Architect demonstrated our previous lack of a discussion on sex by likening his own preferences to those of his three month old daughter.  What a hoot!

Then , on Thursday, the Queen Vee got the sad news that her Dad is deteriorating rapidly, so our program was interrupted by her departure this AM for Salt Lake City where she will be for some indeterminate period.

I think the message in all this is that John Lennon was right:

"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."

Perhaps equally to the point is the saying of the noted Japanese warrior, T. Sakurai:

"In the moment of victory, tighten your helmet strap..."

There are more "interruptions" ahead for all of us.  I hope all yours are good ones.

I'll see you on the high ground!

 

Who's Your Daddy?

I (The Queen Vee) am sneaking onto Ken's blog today to wish him Happy Father's Day. Of course he's not my daddy, that would be Victor Nelson, but he is the the daddy of my children.

So Ken, thank you for being my partner in parenting. Your children are blessed to have you for their dad. Like all good fathers, you have carried the responsibility of fathering on your broad shoulders now for over 36 years and you have done it exceedingly well.

Yes, once you were younger and could hold two kids on your shoulders.

Then those kids grew up and soon you found yourself standing with them shoulder to shoulder.

Now they stand with you en masse, fathers themselves, pushing shoulder to shoulder marking the goal for their families. (What cute guys!)

So today I honor you and I honor our sons for taking on this mantle of fatherhood. There are no perfect fathers, just as there are no perfect mothers, but I think you guys are all up there at the very top of the fatherhood pyramid.

This young, good looking man is my father who is now well into his 90th year. Last week he went into hospice care as he is getting ready to graduate and take the big journey. I love him and I honor him this day. His posterity is now over 80 plus direct descendants. The influence my father has had can now be seen in my grandchildren. That's the impact a good dad can have. If you would like to know my father better you can check out my sister's blog where she has posted a fitting and perfect tribute to a man who sang in the Mormon Tabernacle Choir for 25 years.

Happy Father's day to all these special men in my life. I'm fortunate to be on the high ground with these guys.