Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Be Afraid. Be Very Afraid!

Hi, Guys!
Recently, the Washington Compost had a brief article about the fruit bats shown above.  They live on an island near Madagascar, in the Indian Ocean, weigh up to ten pounds, and have a wing span of four to six feet.  They are sometimes also known as fox bats.

Perhaps most interesting is that, although they sense the fruit they eat by vision and smell, not echoes like most bats, they choose to go out for dinner after dark, when presumably the fruit is harder to see...

In the daytime, when they sleep, they hang upside down in tall trees.  Because locals often like to kill them for food, they have discovered that selecting tall trees in cemeteries works best, since the natives don't like to go there.

Hmmm....  Large bats from the species Pteropus vampyrus who only hunt at night for things more easily seen in daylight and who choose to live in cemeteries... Sound familiar?

Such creatures have recently been having an unusual impact on my daughters, nieces and even the Queen.  They have been seen spending long hours reading hundreds of pages of what appears to be an advertising catalog for cheap beer.

Then, they have been going out at strange hours (12:01 AM) to see the infomercial made about this beer ad catalog, where they were joined by thousands of screaming female teenagers who had apparently been served this beverage before legally allowed.  The Queen went to see the infomercial at 11:00 AM, where she was joined by only nine other women.  The daughters went back for second helpings.

The basis for all this weird behavior is apparently some dude named Edward, a guy with slightly reddish eyes, pasty white skin and a really bad haircut.  One of my daughters told me that he was among the "Ten Sexiest Men of 2008", a title for which I have yet to be nominated, much less selected. 

Not unlike the Pteropus Vampyrus, this guy has some strange habits - and an inexplicable attraction for women who read beer catalogs.  Also like the huge bats off the coast of Africa, Edward seems to have a penchant for tall trees,  places where he takes his date?

Anyhow, I believe that all real men, not those who have been selected as the sexiest man of any given year, should look into this matter more closely.  It would be bad enough to lose your women to some cheap beer, but to then have them taken into tall trees, only to lose their balance and fall, would be a tragedy. 

Maybe that's why one of the follow-on catalogs was titled Breaking Down...

(Note:  this post was written by a polar bear and edited by a Beluga whale. Please do not complain to the normal author of posts on this blog.  Happy Thanksgiving.  Thank you.)


The Queen Vee said...

Al-righty there Kernal Ken, you almost got it right. I can understand your not realizing that Edward has black to golden colored eyes. You haven't read the book, you haven't seen the movie and I know you haven't checked out Edward's eyes anywhere on the internet. You see, he's a vegetarian vampire who only drinks animal blood, hence the golden eyes.

You are funny though and pretty sexy for an old geezer!

Anonymous said...

I think the whale and the bear did a great job of writing and editing and the pictures are very nice.

I left the vampire world with dear ole Dracula. So I do not know this species but I do hear they are the quite the rage.

The bear and whale are not interested in the fruit bats not enough meat for them so if you ever need a higher ground to get away from the bears you could either go to Madagascar or fly up a large tree like Edward.
I would leave the Queen on the ground till you practice this one a few times.

So glad the bear and whale are writing again. Glad you do not have to chase the Turkey around and catch it-----oh could I do a number on-----have a safe and Happy Turkey Day from our house to yours. Jean Joan Marshall & Carolyn

The Dragonfly said...

I think when I get back I may have to take you to a close captioned version of the movie Twilight. It will be our special daddy/daughter date. You will love it. Or else.

Suzanne C said...


Apis Melliflora said...

I keep telling the teenage boys to read the first book as a How To Manual for wooing the opposite sex. If you think of it that way, it doesn't seem quite so strange or exotic.

You should take Spymommy up on that date offer! Then (and only then) get back to us in blogland about bats and the like.

Unknown said...

Bats-Bears and Whales what a crazy Thanksgiving. I thought this season was about Turkeys and veggies. Loved the blog and like my sis I left vampires back with Dracula.
Have a very Happy Thanksgiving.

Tobi said...

I love the music you've added to your blog!

It is true that Edward has a strange effect upon women everywhere. However there are men out in the universe who love the beer catalogs as well. My husband is one and my brother in law. My husband still retains the right to his manhood because he's in the ARMY. My brother in law makes up for his love of Twilight by working in the ultimate man cave...a WAREHOUSE!!

Anderson Zoo Keepers said...

I finally saw the flick yesterday and despite my trepidation - I am still a fan of the bat people.

I just hate that the underage are fans too so I had to wait out the teenagers before I could go and see it.

I do think the Edwards of the literary world make us appreciate our own fantastic husbands even more - as the Queen so aptly implied.